Memories
by ola
Summary: a girl enrolls into the guard to escape her fate, only to find out that fate is a tricky thing. includes humor, some romance, and very unpredictable things to come. bad summary my first lackey fic. please read and review
1. part 1

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ this is the story of a girl who runs away from tradition and from the fate that her parents have made for her. She enrolls in the guard…and things start to become interesting, especially when she meet a certain guy, who is more than he appears to be. I plan for this to be a rather long story, and as not much is typed yet, it will take a while between each post. Sorry, but I'm kind of busy at the moment. But don't despair. There WILL be and end to this…sometime =) ok, if you're still here, enjoy the beginning of "memories"

Disclaimer- don't own nada that you recognize. Everything else is mine, MINE you hear!!! Muahaha! Ok, ok, errr, read on…..and don't sue, I'm a poor college student having to eat oatmeal for breakfast…

~*~*~

Part 1~

"No, no no. there is no way I will wear that!" said Micolanea to her mother, as calmly as possible, but strain was showing in her voice. "Why can't I just wear a simple dress? No corset, no triple under dress?...we are just going to a family gathering. It's not as if they haven't all seen me before. And anyway, I will probably just get out of everybody's sight the minute after the welcome is done with," she finished with exasperation. It was harder and harder to deal with her parents; especially with her mother, who with age had acquired strange ideas that were entirely not in keeping with Micolanea's.

"No you won't. Not this time. You are an eighteen years old young lady, practically a woman, and you will behave as such. You will not bring shame to this family by behaving like a wild vagrant," said Mrs. Sephardi, looking pointedly at Mico's rather short hair, disapproval loud in her voice.

"Now off you go. And try to do something with that head of yours. Wear a little hat. All the family will be there, and I want them to see a proper lady. There will be not one person saying that I do not know how to bring up my daughters. Maybe then _someone will be hardy enough to notice you," she finished as if in afterthought, but Mico knew that this was one of the reasons her family held such reunions. To make young girls known to the rest of the family as suitable brides. Micolanea was a few years past the time she could have been wed, by Sephardi reckoning, and it plagued her mother more than she cared to admit. Micolanea, however, did her utmost possible to escape that fate as long as possible. __Brides? Pfua! More like pieces of property, thought Mico bitterly, stomping up to her room. __Why can't I just stay here? Mother won't go so far as to drag me there herself. No, that would be far too shameful and disgraceful. But I would hear from her afterwards, there's no doubt about that. Her ear burned at the thought. With tears in her eyes at her powerless position, she dressed in a green silk skirt with heavy brocade, and embroidery at the hems. The neckline was far too low for her liking, but it was her mother's selection, and once she made up her mind about something, there was no dissuading her. Of course, Mico could simply go downstairs dressed in men's trousers and shirt, but that wouldn't solve anything. As a final touch of rebellion, she stayed up in her room until the last minute, leaving her hair as it was, which was to say, something resembling a very messy black mop on top of her slightly triangular shaped face. But when her mother saw her in that state, it was far too late to do anything about it. It was unbecoming to arrive late, and Mrs. Sephardi would not subject herself to such disgrace. As a well to do merchant's wife, she had her reputation to keep, and in this society, reputations were very quickly dumped into the dirt. So scowling at her daughter, she stepped into the first of the gray carriages that would transport them all over to her uncle's town house. Micolanea waited for the last carriage, hoping that by that time, the first team of horses would have whisked her mother away and she could discreetly sneak back into her room, but the watchful eye of Mrs. Sephardi never left her daughter, who with a heavy sigh finally boarded, making a long face, for all to see her unhappiness._

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The ride lasted a candle mark, the scenery alternating between open fields and clusters of little thatched houses. It was early August, the trees were all laden with green, full leaves; and little flowers showed their heads on a few late blooming ones. Little children played with each other along the road, their little heads empty pf worry. A smile crept on Mico's face as she imagined herself climbing a particularly tall apple tree. She could feel herself rocked by the warm breeze, all around her shiny leaves rustling happily, and the rough bark keeping her from slipping. She would stay there until nightfall, seeing the first stars come up…the hunter and his dog on her right, the swan a little farther from it, to the left. Ahh, yes, she would have loved to spend an evening like that, without her mother pestering her about "proper" lady behavior. The thought of Mrs. Sephardi brought her back to reality, and she looked with envy at a couple of youths in guard uniforms, as the carriage slowly rolled by. _At least they don't have to listen to their parents. Their only job is to defend their villages, where nothing really happens. And before that, they have years of training, mostly circuits in some huge forest. Those are peaceful times. She sighed again, this time less loudly, and closed her eyes, trying to imagine herself anywhere but where she was now.__ I could probably make a better guard than them, she thought after a moment, embittered by her lack of freedom.__ I'm sure I can at least shoot better than them. That little thought brought a small smile to her face.__ I wonder what father would say if he knew I have been practicing archery all by myself in the evenings for two full years. Mother would probably have a fit, and when she recovered, she would surely find someone "suitable" for me, and marry me off as soon as possible. Yea, right, someone "suitable" meaning some guy who could beat some sense into me. No thanks._

After a while, she turned her head to look at the other occupants of the carriage. Next to her was one of the maidservants, a pretty but quiet little thing that kept darting her little eyes at everyone, as if afraid they might do something to her. On the padded bench opposite her sat her two youngest brothers, Alen and Mat. They were good enough boys, but could get into mischief faster than anyone could get them out of. That was one reason why she liked them, apart from the fact that when they smiled, they looked like little angels. But the oldest of the two was seven years her junior, and although their little tricks always made her laugh, they were just that: tricks. The next carriage probably held more servants and her sister. She was thirteen, the age when girls fall in love with every good-looking boy they set their eyes upon, and Angela was no exception to that rule. Finally, the first carriage held her parents and her older brother Sam. Mrs. Sephardi was a good-looking woman of middle age. Her dark brown hair were only just starting to turn silver at the temples, but her blue eyes were sharp as ever. Born a low income merchant's daughter, she had set both her eyes on Ted Sephardi, an enterprising young fellow in his time. But Mico's father was as calm and self possessed as her mother was bossy and a perfectionist. Therefore, she had naturally taken over the household, but that did not seem to bother her husband at all, since he could still go out with his old time friends for a couple of mugs of rich ale. As for Sam, he looked like an exact copy of their mother, but with masculine features, while sharing their father's personality, in addition to being hardworking, which made him quite famous among the girls._ And then there is me, thought Mico with a wry smile. Her short black hair and fierce green eyes had an appealing wildness about them, and her thin and lithe body added to that image. Mrs. Sephardi had spent more than one night lying awake at night, wondering what to do with her daughter. She just wasn't like anybody else in the family, although she did resemble her father physically, but with more feminine features._

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A/N~ so? I know, I know, it was short, and since I have to do some kind of introduction and setting, it won't sound interesting for a while. But please review, and keep peeping into this site from time to time!~

~Ola~


	2. part 2

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ thank you for the advice. I'm not that good at making paragraphs. When I begin writing, I kind of simply type without looking how it all looks, but I guess that for the reader, long paragraphs can be hard to follow.

That's what I'm looking for in reviews, although I love all of them! *hint hint* =)

Ok, enjoy!...

~*~*~

Part 2~

The carriage finally came to a lurching halt in front of a large brick town house right smack in the middle of Ashkelon. The village itself could almost be called a town, as it had its own temple and school house. Uncle Bethal's house was one of a few that bordered the town square, all similar in their style and size. In fact, wherever she looked, Micolanea could see a likeness that was quickly becoming monotonous. All those bricks and the brown dust of the road made it seem as if mud had been splattered on everything, just so that it would all match. The house into which they were herded by a stern looking woman did not have a yard, and for that matter, Mico could not see a single tree in its vicinity. _Oh, that's just great! She thought with sarcasm. _

As soon as she stepped into the house, she realized just how many guests had been invited. The house, even if much bigger than her own, was still cramped with so many people that it was hard to move around. Trying to at least be present for the welcome, Mica schooled her expression into a semblance of calm and coolness, but the moment she tried to edge away from the press of people, she felt her mother's hand clamp on her arm like a vice. She tried not to wince, as much in pain as in annoyance. _Great.__ This is just great. Now I will just have to be herded like a mindless doe. Does she expect me to act like one too? Or do I have to bate my eyes at every male older than 15 and younger than 65? She thought with anger, trying in vain to escape from her mother's constraint, and praying to avoid meeting any mindless suitors. But the gods didn't answer her; perhaps because they did not deem this matter of enough importance, or they were enjoying themselves too much in their own weird way by sending her a who-knew-how-many-times removed uncle with his two sons, Ted and Woltar, and those two came as stupid as they get. She scowled, but her mother's grip tightened so much she feared her arm would fall off. _

She made herself look at the people in front of her, trying to put as much repugnance and aggression in her stance as possible._ Maybe if they think I'm some kind of wild thing they will just go away…she hoped with all her heart. She personally knew both of them, and her stomach did double flips just at the idea of being alone with either one of them. Not that she couldn't defend herself against one of them if she had weapons. But "if" was the key word here, because for now, the only object that could possibly do some serious bodily harm was the pin that held her hair. Just as she thought about it, she remembered that her hair was now as short as a boy's, and that the pin in question couldn't have held anything except if it was glued to it. _

She stopped her swear in mid word, wondering if her mother would go as far as cuffing her in front of the other guests, but not really wanting to find out. Then, with an inward chuckle, she thought about what those same guests would think if _she slapped her now, and coolly went out the door. As a matter of strength, her mother would have no chance against Mico._

She was shocked out of her little daydream by hearing her name, and once again began paying attention to what her mother was saying. But then she wished she hadn't. Or rather, she was happy to hear, but not about the "it." As happy as someone would be upon hearing his death sentence, content on hearing it before hand so as to plan accordingly for a hasty escape. In Micolanea's case, it wasn't exactly a death sentence, but a forced marriage to either of those two louts was probably even worse than death. _And nobody had even asked me about my opinion! She tensed with anger, which only contributed to her mother's nails digging deeper into her arm in warning._

_How could she! She doesn't even know what those two do for fun! Micolanea remembered too clearly another such family meeting about two years ago. She had been sitting on a stiff and hard chair, and she recalled with a smile at having been squirming on it the whole evening. Fortunately, she had been able to look out the window. But what she had seen there had been very unsettling. Ted and Woltar had been torturing a little dog. There was no other word that could be used to describe it. She had turned her eyes quickly away as Woltar had hit it again, the force of the impact throwing it against the wall, where it laid, unmoving. And that hadn't been the only time she had seen them do such things, although she really tried not to get herself involved in those games, since those "incidents" did include people as often as not. Anything that could feel pain was fair game for them._

That had been one of the reasons why she had begun practicing archery and hand combat with Buggle. Buggle wasn't his true name, but he had said that it was good enough. She had first met him many years ago, when she had still been a little girl. That day, she had been at the market with her mother, and she had wondered off by herself to look at pretty yellow flowers. Being six, small in size, and alone in a place full of strange people was not a good combination. But at that age, she didn't exactly care, and now, when she looked back at that moment, Mico felt extremely lucky. Not only had she met a young boy who had shown her the hidden wonders of the market and then found her mother, she had also made a wonderful friend. It didn't matter that he was a lowly street-rat; he was at most times better company than all her family combined.

But that was not here nor there. At the present time, she was still stuck in her uncle's house, with a rather dangerous problem regarding her near future. _Maybe I can simply tell mother what I think about it, and explain what I saw them doing. Maybe she will change her mind…there was not much hope in that, but it was still worth trying before doing something drastic. _

~*~*~

A/N~ So? Comments? Advices? Good? Bad? Terrible?

~Ola~


	3. part 3

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ oh oh, did I write the disclaimer? I forgot. Anyway, for now all the characters are mine, although the setting is not. (I made up the town's name because I don't have a book or map handy). There will be heralds much later on, first on the horizon being the guards. I'm so happy you all liked this fic!! Wow. I'm sorry that I took a while uploading, but I don't think I'll be able to post any sooner later on, but keep checking bout once a week.

Enjoy the story, and please review!

~*~*~

Part 3~

"Micolanea! How dare you say such things about the Rifnal boys!"

_I knew it! It was bound to fail. They both have her in the bag, like the proverbial cat; like they do everyone else for that matter._

"Maybe if you didn't act like a savage, you could have found yourself another young man. I went to all that trouble for you. I found you not one but TWO young men, with money in their pockets, and you are still dissatisfied? Ingrate little thing!"

It went on for some time, Mrs. Sephardi glaring at her daughter, and Mico thinking waspy things to say back, but not wanting to break total hell on her head by uttering them out loud.

_Fine men? Did you see what they do as their favorite pass time? You went in search of them? They probably couldn't find anyone willing to marry them! And what will you do if I just walk out of this room while you ramble on?_

Suiting actions to thoughts, Micolanea quickly stood up from the parlor chair and left, feeling at last satisfied to have shocked the words out of her mother.__

_If she won't listen to me, then neither will I listen to her. Fair is fair. I just wish I could see her face right now, she thought as she stepped out of the room, from which not a sound emanated._

~*~*~

"You will repent your faults, and spend the whole day and night there if that is what it takes. I thought you a better daughter than that little Mico. I never thought that you would shame your mother so. Perhaps the Lord will put some sense into you," Mr. Sephardi finished in a deep and calm voice.

_And I thought you were a better dad! Micolanea thought bitterly as she was unceremoniously dragged toward the temple._

It was a large, rectangular stone building with massive wooden doors. On both sides of the main entrance were statues of people with smiles on their faces and open arms, inviting everyone in. _not that I have a choice, do I?_

Compared to the heat outside, the temple itself was only dimly lit by a few candles and as cool as an autumn evening. It took some time for Mico's eyes to adjust to the semi-darkness, and when she was finally able to distinguish individual benches; her father had left her in favor of an acolyte, probably to explain why he had brought her here. After a few minutes of whispering while Mico looked at the high ceiling, lost in arches that crisscrossed themselves, her father came back to confirm her thoughts. A minor priest would assist her in her repentance, and send a message to her parents as soon as she was done. Shutting the door behind him with a clear finality as he left, Mr. Sephardi plunged the temple into heavy silence, making her ears ring. The acolyte came to the temple's altar and started moving things around, as preparations for the evening gathering.

_Mmm, maybe I can make this quick, before all those people come. I really don't feel like listening to them sing, and wait until they are gone to be able to talk to the guy again._

The acolyte was young and didn't seem overjoyed at his new task. Mico was about to take him out of his misery; and hers, of course. She schooled her expression into one of piety and repentance, slowly rose, gripping her dress, and moved to the fore with her eyes downcast in proper respect to one who was the envoy of the Lord.

"I wish the Lord's forgiveness," she whispered, kneeling on the steps leading to the altar. It took a moment for the acolyte to respond.

_Thinking I would stay back there all night?_

"It is not so simply done, young lady," he finally deigned to reply with an air of arrogance that made Mico silently grit her teeth._ Young lady! I bet I'm older than you! Little brat! And how dare you have this tone of voice with me! You're an acolyte! You're supposed to be a humble servant of the Lord! Not a young jerk who suddenly has visions of grandeur! But the acolyte went on, unaware of the girl's thoughts._

"…a respectful daughter to your loving parents. The Lord loves all human beings, and forgives all, when forgiveness is due. You must understand the wrongs you committed and repent them. In your case, it is your duty and your honor to obey your parents in every way. You are to look up to all of your male relatives as examples of good conduct, and live your life as a humble and obedient daughter or housewife…"

The coldness of the floor began to creep up Micolanea's knees. It hurt. She felt like strangulating the boy, right there and then, and not only because of the slight pain.

"…recite the Lord 's Prayer ten times and abstain from consuming food or beverages until the rise of the Lord's glorious sun. You may rise now, young lady, daughter of the Lord."

She did so, stiffly, mumbling something under her breath. The acolyte took it as an affirmation, and went back to his preparations with a smile on his face. Mico's lips also curved up, but for a different reason, as she hurriedly made her way out of the temple, not bothering to keep her "good girl" appearance. 

Outside, the sun was still bright, and she had to wait a little in the shade for her eyes to adjust. It hadn't taken as long as she thought it would, and she had plenty of time for herself. She kicked a stone and watched it bounce against the solid outside wall of the temple, then she went on her way.

~*~*~

A/N~ how did you like it? A new character will appear in the next chapter, and in the one after that, you will meet someone very important =) but please review, and tell me what you think, so I can change or fix things if they are wrong.

~Ola~


	4. part 4

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ Micolanea finally makes a decision. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. "Screw the acolyte"? lol. He won't appear anymore.

**Sorry for the mix up!**** Right chapter number but wrong story =). At least I got you to review! =) I'll make it up, though: two chapters at once! How is that?**

~*~*~

Part 4~

The market was just around the block, and she had the satisfaction of eating two whole blueberry pies, washing them down with unwatered wine. But although she wasn't on any special errand, she did come here for a reason.

_Buggle__._

She saw the read head of one of his friends bobbing up and down in the crowed, and she hurried her steps to catch up to him and ask about Buggle.

~*~*~

She heard the appreciative whistle before she saw its owner's face, and the corners of her mouth quirked up. Buggle was a tall youth, or rather a young man, of twenty. He had big, warm. Brown eyes, and hair to match, an easy stride, and a quick laugh…at least for her. When angered, those beautiful eyes lost all their warmth, and those muscles tensed like those of a born fighter.

"Wow, Lan, why dressed so nice? Come to impress your man?" he said, his feet dangling from a window ledge of an abandoned building, a stalk of grass in the corner of his mouth. 

Lan rolled her eyes at his antics, but a slight blush crept up her face anyway. However, it was quickly wiped away by a serious expression.

"What's wrong Mico?" he jumped down to her level, all trace of fluffy games gone, the bit of grass now laying forgotten at his feet. Micolanea circled his neck with her arms, resting her head on his chest as silent tears slid down her cheeks.

"Sshh. Lan, it's all right. I'm here. Tell me what's wrong," he talked softly while stroking her hair, trying to bring her comfort. 

She told him everything, bit by bit, from the visit to her uncle's house, to the forced marriage proposal, and finally concluding with:

"…I don't know what to do. I won't let them order me around…"

"You could stay with me," he offered.

"I would, but they would find me faster than it takes to say my name!"

Buggle sighed and gave a weak laugh. "You don't give me enough credit, but you're right. You can't stay here."

They had moved of to sit down at the foot of the wall from which Buggle had jumped off earlier, and the young man stayed silent for a while, thinking, and holding the girl close to him. Another sigh.

"Enlist in the national guard," he finally said.

"What!...you seem to forget one major thing here."

"And that is?"

"I'm a girl!" she said with exasperation. "_That's the problem, and __that's also why I am here!"_

"Cut your hair and dress up as a guy," he said matter of factly. "Listen, there is a local guard-headquarter over in Melin. Every so often, when they get a band of volunteers, they go away on a training trip that last about a year. After that, you get your permit and can serve in whichever part of the country you like. That means that as soon as you leave for training, you'll be safe, because that takes place in the wild for the first part, then in some little town farther away, in another district, so no one knows the recruits and they won't receive any help. You're good enough with the bow and hand combat to hold your own with the other guys. So you see, it's actually a very good plan." He smiled, and his eyes twinkled.

"But w…"

"You wanted to get away from here, right?" she nodded.

"Well, that's the best and safest way to do it. Plus, you will have a career you can count on to keep you fed and warm, anywhere you go."

The image of several boys in uniforms standing at the edge of a road passed in front of her eyes, and she remembered the journey to her uncle's house, wishing to have their freedom. _Well, why not? A smile slowly spread on her face._

"What should I do?"

~*~*~

A/N~ next chapter, the true adventure begins. =) please review! 


	5. part 5

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ so this is the bonus chapter for the mix up from before, ok? Micolanea finally goes off. But before she joins the guard, she has one final step to go through. 

~*~*~

Part 5~

"All right, I'm ready," said Micolanea after checking the contents of her bag one last time. The sun had set a few hours ago and the house had been silent when she had left through the window, locking her bedroom door first, then shutting the window, to confuse her parents as much as she could, and get a longer time before the search for her began. By the time they realized she was not in her room as ordered, she would hopefully be far away and out of reach.

"So what are we waiting for. Let's go!" said Buggle with his trademark smile. For a young man who had grown up in the streets, he was unusually happy. Micolanea was too, although her joy was strongly mixed with apprehension.

As soon as they left the village and its lights disappeared, they rejoined the main road since no one had any reason yet of suspecting Lanea's departure. Not counting that it was easier than trekking blindly through the forest. They walked all night, non-stop, until Lanea began stumbling and Buggle was not much better off. Then they stepped into the forest and set up camp some way off the road, to remain unseen by any traveler. Although fall had began, the nights still were not too cold, so they did not bother making any sort of leafy bed, and slept only on a blanket, being covered by another. Sleeping together, on the same "bed" would keep them warm enough.

"How do you feel in your last night as a lady?" asked Buggle, propping his head up to get a better look at her.

"Aaaaawfully tired," she yawned; her eyes already closed. But a moment later, she opened them again.

"Buggle?"

"Mmmm?"

"Have you ever been with a girl?" she glanced at him.

"Yes."

"How…what does it feel like?" she couldn't see his face clearly, but she knew that he was smiling.

"It's different for everyone, but usually it's …very nice," he said simply, as if that should explain it all. After a while, Lanea again broke the silence.

"C…could you show me? I mean, if you don't want to, that's okay, I understand, it…"

Lanea," he interrupted her, "there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not! It's just that…I've never been with anyone before…in that way," she mumbled, not looking at him.

"Listen," for once, he sounded very serious. "You don't have to do it because everyone else is too or because you think it will make you a woman. That's a stupid reason. You'll regret your actions if you do it without being sure…are you sure?" she nodded, hopping he could see her in the dark.

"I'm glad I'm the first one you asked Lan," she felt his warm breath tickle her ear, and his body get closer to hers.

She was tense, afraid of the unknown, not knowing what to expect. Slowly, he unlaced her shirt and caressed her stomach. His hand was large and warm, and surprisingly smooth. His other hand found its way under her head and around her shoulder, keeping her close, but not forcefully.

"Relax Lan, it's okay…don't be afraid," the whisper of his voice, and the sound of the wind. Then the feel of his mouth on hers. Warm, firm, and very mobile, but not pushy. His hand traveled up her body, exploring every inch, dancing, tickling, and soothing, up her breasts, around…while his legs encircled hers, his thighs rubbing against her own. Micolanea shivered, clenching her fist on the front of his shirt.

"Lanea. Lan. Feel your arm," the young man suddenly said, stopping his caresses. 

"What?"

"You have goose bumps. Listen, it may sound harsh, and I'm sorry if I'll hurt you by saying that, but…you're not ready for it."

"Yes I am! It's just that…it's cold!"

"Lan. You of all people should know your own self the best. But instincts don't lie. You get goose bumps either because it's cold, or because you're afraid. It's not cold, and when you make love with someone, you definitely can't feel cold. But you are afraid."

"I'm sorry I asked," he heard her whisper, and felt her move away from him.

"Lan, don't be that way. It's not that I don't want you. I do. It's just that you aren't ready yet, and I don't want to take advantage of you. Lanea? Please? Don't be angry."

"I'm not," came her soft voice after a long while. "I value your friendship too much to be angry with you. As corny as it may sound, you are my best friend Buggle." She knew he was smiling. She heard it in his voice. But there was something else in it too when he said "thank you Lan," and gave her a kiss, before gently encircling her in his arms and bringing the blanket upon their shoulders.

Far above, the stars had barely moved.

~*~*~

A/N~ is PG 13 a good rating? Don't know, but since nothing really happened, I think it's ok. If not, please let me know. And review anyway! It makes me so happy when you do… please? =) and I will give you a strawberry. With whipped cream! =)

~Ola~


	6. part 6

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ thank you for al of those who reviewed. I'll give you imaginary cookies! They're yummy! =) 

~*~*~

Part 6~

"How long have we slept?"

"Too long already."

"I think not nearly long enough," mumbled Lanea with a yawn.

The sky had barely begun turning lighter.

"Come here," said Buggle with a grin rivaling Lanea's yawn in size. "We'll make a boy out of you yet!" he gestured theatrically.

Micolanea's already short hair became even shorter, and while she carefully bound her breasts, Buggle joked about a certain _very well endowed old lady they both knew._

Before the sun rose, two boys were walking on the edge of an empty road, heading south, toward the light.

~*~*~

At their fast walk, they reached Melin by sunrise of the next day, allowing for a few very short breaks, and one a bit longer to catch some needed sleep. Already, workers in the farms surrounding the town were up and about, while Melin was slowly waking up. Shutters were being open, doorsteps swept by busy-looking women or their daughters, but the streets themselves were still empty for the most part. Micolanea saw all that through eyes itchy with lack of sleep, and sincerely, she didn't care much at this point whether these people were throwing the contents of their night pots on the streets or walking on their heads. However, she did notice that the guard's headquarters were situated in the middle of Melin, right nest to the town's only church. In their wide open door stood a man almost as wide.

"Let me do the talking until they ask you a question directly."

"Uh hum," said Lanea, passing a hand through her hair self consciously, as they approached the door.

"Excuse me sir. When does the next group of volunteers leave?"

"Mmm…'morrow mornin' prob'bly," he rumbled.

"Is it still possible to enlist?"

" 'f course. 'lways poss'ble. F'low me."

The man's office was the first door on the right. It was small and stank of smoke, but it was a lot cleaner than Lanea had expected. The officer sat behind his desk and took out a piece of blank paper. The chair squeaked under his weight. 

"Name?" he asked, looking at Buggle with a rather uninterested look.

"I'm not the one sir. It's my young cousin here," he placed a hand protectively on Lanea's shoulder.

"Well, wha's you' name boy?"

"Lan," said Micolanea trying to make her voice sound deeper than it was.

"Age?"

"16 sir. I'll be turning 17 next summer sir."

"Las' name?"

"Well, err, ummm, it's…" _What the heck? "It's Moss, sir." She dropped her head so he wouldn't see her face._

"Ident'f'cation pap'rs? Name of guardian?"

"I'm his guardian sir. You see, a fortnight ago, the poor lad's house burned down. His…his parents and his little sister did not escape." Lanea's head dropped even lower. "He is alive only because he was not present during the fire. The neighbors tried to help but they couldn't do anything…when the poor boy came back, only ashes, still smoking, were left. I am the only family he has, but I am poor sir and cannot guarantee him a good future. I am sure, though, that in the guard, he'll do fine, if you allow him to."

For a long moment, the officer looked at Buggle's solemn features and Lanea's shaking shoulders.

"Any skills in arms?" he finally asked, his voice a lot softer.

~*~*~

Ten minutes later, the two young people were rounding the corner of the main street, a legal paper of entry into the guard in Lan's hand.

"Moss? _Moss? Where did __that come from?" Buggle laughed._

"Well, what about the fire story? Eh?" Lanea replied morosely. She thought "Moss" was a very nice name.

"Wow, Lan, okay, you know I was just kidding. Come on, let's get something to eat. My stomach is getting brutal."

Melin's market was rather small, but they found food without problem. They each got a meat pie, with cider for Lan and beer for Buggle. They sat down by a small wooden table right outside the tavern. Their traveling packs received an honor place on the chair nearby.

"What's that sign you made to those guys over there?" asked Lanea, her mouth full of crusty pie.

"It's thief code*. Basically saying that I'm not here on business, but that they shouldn't consider us as their business either."

"Uh hum."

"Listen, Lan. I taught you some stuff, and I know you can take care of yourself, but be careful please. I won't be able to help you if something goes wrong. I won't even know exactly where you are. I've…permitted myself to let some rumors fly about a certain lady Micolanea, back home." He flashed her one of his smiles. "That should confuse your folks a bit more. I don't think it's necessary to tell you not to divulge to anyone who you are? The army is full of…impolite and uncivilized people to put it mildly and so is the world. Don't let nice faces fool you. Lan? Are you listening to what I'm saying?"

"Uh hum…can I have your pie?"

they spent the rest of the afternoon talking (a bit more seriously after Lan ate a second pie and calmed her stomach down) and walking around town. They heard the church bells toll. Two hours before sunset. The new guards were due in the headquarters before nightfall, where they would spend the night. in the morning they would get supplies, and head out.

"If you want to take a bath, I would advise you to go now, before too many people show up and some…mmm…complications arise."

"Yea," Lanea sighed. "I'll miss you Buggle. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. I don't want to have to get you out of prison the moment I come back." She tried to smile. It didn't work.

"You better be back here in a year Lan. I'll be waiting for you," Buggle's voice wasn't as cheerful as he would have liked it either. They hugged, and Micolanea left, not looking back, and trying hard not to let her chin tremble too much.

~*~*~

* got that idea from another book by Raymond Feist. (can't remember the title, though) so I don't own that idea.


	7. part 7

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ Lan's adventure begins. =)

~*~*~

Part 7~

The guard's headquarters weren't as big as she had thought, maybe because they towered over the narrow town houses that bordered Melin's square. The building itself was rectangular and two-storied, with the shortest side facing the street. The façade was clean and well kept. It was obvious that this was a government building. Although it was nearing evening and autumn, the sun had time to warm the earthen road and the stone buildings which now radiated heat in the manner of fireplaces, but the inside of the headquarters was cool, sheltered by a thick wall of light colored stones. The windows were large and made of real glace, which was proof that the building was relatively new. 

Lan's soft footsteps reverberating in the empty hallway took her past a few small offices, a large stairway, a quiet mess hall with long wooden tables, dark with use, standing in orderly rows, waiting for someone to sit down and eat. But no sound of knives and forks clicking on plates came to disturb the peace. Next came a practice sale with one side made completely with glass to let the most sunlight in, and the other, opposite it, a long row of mirrors, to efficiently teach young soldiers to see their errors and correct them. Another stairway at the end of the hallway took her up to the second floor, where several dark, wooden doors were closed. In the middle of the top corridor was a medium sized dormitory with a dozen beds placed in two rows with their headboards against the wall. They were nothing fancy; a narrow mattress on a wooden frame, a blanket of rough wool, and a pillow; but it was a lot more than a typical country bumpkin was used to.

One of the beds was made, and a small pack as well as a sword laid by its foot. Lanea met its current owner on her way to the bathing room. He was tall and lanky and his hair was the most vicious color of red she had ever seen. _Like dancing flames. The fact that it was humid and stood on ends as if he had constantly passed his hands through it heightened this comparison. Lanea tried not to stare. So she looked down. Bad idea. He wasn't wearing anything except a greenish towel wrapped around his middle. Her eyes came back up to  his face, and she noticed that he didn't seem to realize there was someone else in the hallway. W__hich is a good thing. The less attention I get, the better._

She resumed her walk to the bathing room. At the door, she was met by a cloud of mist and warmth…and a clean smell that tickled her memory. But the room was empty of any other presence. Lanea didn't wait for someone to materialize. She poured hot water into one of the three metallic tubs; the farthest from the door. On one wall, she found shelves with brown towels and bars of gray utilitarian soaps. After dropping her clothes on her bag, next to the tub, she jumped into the water and began a vigorous rub down, including her head and ears. She had no way of knowing when and where her next bath would take place. And as much as she would have loved to lay down in the tub and relax, unknotting her soar muscles and clearing her head, she knew she had no such luxury. She had left luxury and all it implied back in her hometown, with her name and feminity, and she wasn't about to return there. She was Lan, an orphaned and poor boy from nowhere important.

~*~*~

Someone had lit the candles in the hall, in an attempt to push away the incoming darkness. The dorm room's two large windows let in the last vestige of a dying sun, but soon, everything turned gray. Lanea didn't lit any candles. Like the only other occupant of the room, she stored her belongings by the bed's footboard.

Downstairs, a few people were talking and someone laughed. Lanea laid on her bed, clasping her hands behind her head. In the near gloom and relative silence, she remembered where she had first encountered the scent from the bathing room: in the hallway, when the boy, lost in his thoughts, had past her by. Now, it still faintly hung in the air; the boy seemed asleep, and in the dark, his hair didn't seem so red anymore. Some time later, a few people were silhouetted in the room's doorway. Lanea heard something hitting the floor, and voices she could not distinguish from each other. She was too tired to want to rouse herself from the half-sleep she had fallen into.

Farther away, water splashed. Closer, a bed creaked. Then all went silent again as she drifted into much needed sleep.

~*~*~

There were six of them, standing in the bright morning light.

            *There was Jek, a man unspecial in every way. He was of medium height and built, he had brown hair and brown eyes, and he kept mostly to himself.

Each of them was given a backpack made of thick, sturdy cloth.

            *There was Dareel, a blond haired, blue-eyed man who towered over everyone, and constantly showed his teeth.

They were given a blanket, a rolled up sleeping mat, and one oiled tarp to share for two.

            *There was Matejas, light-brown-haired and short. He and Dareel knew each other and constantly talked about everything.

They received a wooden bowl and spoon.

            *There was middle-aged Tuck, not very tall, but extremely wide. He was not fat, only very stocky. His shaggy black hair and beard made him look like a bear. They would all later learn that, for all his girth, he was surprisingly fast.

They were allowed to take personal possessions, keeping in mind that they would have to carry it all for a year, or throw it away.

            *There was the slim, young, red head, whose hair once again became bright orange in direct sunlight. It still stood on end. He was named Sindarin.

The communal goods of the group were evenly distributed among the six. Food, pots, pans, and other necessities.

            *And there was Lan, the little greenie, who always seemed on the offense, and who frowned at everyone and everything.

They were given a sword and a bow with two dozen arrows if they did not own one or the other. Those were certainly not beautiful, and they had seen quite a lot of years of use, but they were sturdy and lethal in good hands.

They were each given a number, in order of their entry into the guard. With those, they formed three groups of twos; three groups to stand watch, cook, share tarps, go on missions in turns; three groups to make it safer…and less lonely in the dark.

Dareel and Matejas grumbled and swore, not the least happy about the arrangements. They had arrived second and 3rd. Unshaven Tuck glared, then grabbed Dareel's elbow and exchanged places, as if annoyed by a child's whim. Dareel nodded his thanks, flashed his teeth, and resumed his conversation.

The tall red-head had signed in 5th. He gave Lan a cursory glance the went back to his thoughtful studying of the pebbles in the courtyard, or rather, they just happened to be where he was looking.

To the group was added the crooked-nosed captain, whose voice loudly filled the air. Not everyone was listening to him, but he didn't seem to notice, too taken up by his speech.

The last man was an older member of the guard. He was a practicing healer and knew quite a lot of other necessary things too. Although the captain's hair could have been termed as graying, his were far beyond that stage. He didn't have any at all.

They left before the sun rolled all the way from behind the horizon, heading South East.

~*~*~

A/N~ as always, please type in a little comment in the little box below.

                        I 

                        I 

                       \ /


	8. part 8

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ sorry this part is so short. I'll make it up for you by posting another one during the week, ok? 

~*~*~

Part 8~

At first, she thought it was a joke. The pack weighed almost as much as she did. And what had she brought? Two pairs of pants, three shirts, a pair of extra boots, some underwear, a warm jacket and a bulky but warm and light cloak. Then there was food and all that heap of scrap metal (ferraille is a much better word here, for those who understand =) they had given her. Considering they would not be able to get anything for a month, it wasn't much. But it seemed to Lanea that she wouldn't be able to drag that thing over any little hill, much less mountains.

Tuck shouldered his share as if it was packed full of feathers. Dareel and Mat swore. Jek, as usual, didn't comment. Lan was relieved to see that Sindarin obviously sagged under his own pack. He wasn't the only one.

They didn't have much time to think about what fate had brought them. They began a fast walk immediately and except for two _very short breaks, they didn't stop until late noon. Taking off her pack felt like flying, but not for long. Her heavy bladder dragged her instantly back down to earth and she had to go into the bushes. Far. And she tensed at every little sound, thinking that someone was bound to discover her in such a lady-like posture at any time. It would have been hard to explain. But no one did._

Nothing from her pack was used for lunch, and it stayed as full as before. At least, she didn't have to repack at the end. But it seemed that the infinitesimal dust that had succeeded in falling on her pack weighed immeasurably more than it should. As she put it back on her shoulders, waiting until the last minute to do so, she felt as if it was barely seconds since she had taken it off.

Toward the evening, the speed of the march had slowed down considerably. It got down to placing one foot after the other. Nothing else mattered. The company stopped a short while after sunset, when it became impossible to see well enough to go on.

"For a first day, it wasn't that bad, was it?"

Lan plopped down right where she was, not deeming it necessary to comment. From the front of the single file she heard swearing and another thud. Sindarin valiantly tried to keep standing for a while longer. Two minutes later he was sitting on his own bag. Even Tuck looked a bit tired.

"Up! Up! Get your asses up! No rest until you set camp. And let it be the last time I remind you of that!" the Captain's voice rang under the trees.

They grudgingly unpacked and watched the two officers setting their own tarp. Strings tied at each corner of the cloth around fist-sized balls of leaves so they wouldn't slip off by themselves, two sides attached to tree trunks, the other two to wood sticks found nearby and stuck into the ground. The lean to's weren't roomy, but big enough for two people and their packs to lie under. Everyone worked silently in the glow of the campfire except for Dareel and Mat, but by now, nobody paid attention to their incessant jabbering.

The food didn't taste like much, but at least it was warm. The fourth group, made up of the captain and the medic, took up the first watch. First and second groups would follow suit later that night. The third would rotate the next night, so that each group got one full night of sleep out of every four. The same went for cooking.

~*~*~

Next day didn't get any better, and doubt as to the sensibility of Lanea's actions began to creep in. _I'm the smallest one, and comparing body weight, pound for pound, also the lightest and the weakest. If it gets worse every day, I'll be the first one to go down, she thought with gloom, as they began ascending a large hill.__ No! Stop thinking like that! You're a lot more determined than they are! You have a goal to achieve. This is like war, everybody's fighting, but you have a goal to fight for. Doesn't matter you're a girl. You don't need a male's reproductive organ to walk over a hill and carry a pack. A small smile crept on her face and kept her going for a while.__ I'm a woman! I'm strong! I'm made to overcome pain! Pfua! If guys had to deliver babies, the human race would wither out and die because they would be too afraid of the pain to get pregnant in the first place!_

By evening, all thoughts of pregnant males and strong women had vanished from her mind. She was exhausted. The first night, she had only been tired from one day's walk. Tonight, another one was added to the first, and her pain augmented accordingly. Long unused muscles protested at this barbaric treatment. Toes, feet, calves, back, shoulders…everything that had a name, and even some things that didn't. 

It took Lan quite some effort not to lie own when she spread out the sleeping mat, and to get something to eat. As it turned out, Jek and Tuck were in rotation to cook supper, and at least one of them knew quite a bit about preparing food because it smelled delicious. The warm fire and a good chat was an attracting thought, but bed was a much better companion than any one else in the company, considering that she had to get up for the third watch, near morning. 

She was surprised to see Sindarin follow suit, and even more so when, after a longish silence, she heard his soft "good night." It was the first time she had heard his voice; it had a specific quality she couldn't name right then.

"G'night."

She waited for him to say something more, but the only human sound that reached her was the soft laughter of Dareel and Matejas, who kept the first watchers company for a little while before they too retired to "bed." But by then, Lanea was deeply asleep, dreaming about horses.

~*~*~

A/N~ as always, please review. Comments, advice…everything is welcome… even a line saying you don't like it at all…

~Ola~


	9. part 9

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ Lan's first mistake. (it's hard to have two life stories =). Thanks so much for all of you who reviewed.-saphie (lol. *grins* Thanks, but I don't think I would qualify as a dude =), gus, banadar, sweetie pie, red wulf, laura, polly, fyredragon, aaria, cat, kelly. See! I got all of you! =) And I am really sorry about not updating during the middle of the week, like I promised I would. Blame physics for that. =) I'll try to do that this week (meaning two chapters in one week). 

~*~*~

Part 9~

If she had thought the second day was bad, she hadn't seen the third. Because of the early morning watch, it had been extra long. When she had woken up she had first wondered whether the horses of her dreams hadn't all trampled her. Her second thought was how she would manage to begin moving, because that was the hardest part. Especially since it was around three in the morning and as dark as in a cellar, that her eyes were full of sleep, that the air was nippy, and that all the pain from the two previous days had pilled itself on her. For a brief moment, she wondered how it would be in the evening, but she preferred not to dwell on that too much. She had first to get through this day. Again, someone tugged her sleeve and called her name.

"I'm awake." She crawled out from under her blanket, unable to suppress a shiver, and sat next to the fire, with Sindarin on the other side.

"Hey, you're still awake, Lan?" he asked after a while, seeing her eyes close.

"Of course!" which wasn't a complete lie.

"Sindarin. That's a weird name. Does it mean anything?" She managed between two yawns.

"Yea, actually it does. It's the name of a mythical tribe of elves.* "

"Ummm…it's like being called Rethwelan?" she joked.

"Something like that," he smiled. 

"Got any brother or sister?"

"Two brothers. I'm the youngest. You?"

"Older brother and sister, then younger sister and two little brothers."

"Are you close to any of them?" 

"Yea, to the two youngest ones. The one in the middle is too stuck up for her own good. My older brother is off doing his own things mostly, and my oldest sister is married. I don't see her much anymore. You? How much older are they?"

"Ten and eleven years difference. I kind of grew up as a single child," again, that something strange in his voice. "Any reason you signed up for the guard?" he added.

_Shit! I can't be Lan Moss with all those brothers and sisters! Shit shit shit! I completely forgot about the fire cover story and Buggle being my so called cousin. Damn it! I hope he doesn't tell anyone about our little campfire chat._

"I'd prefer not to talk about it," she finally said, unable to come up with another good story. 

Sindarin shrugged. "Do you think they'll make us walk so much every day? When are we supposed to begin _real training?"_

"Don't know. But if it continues at this rate, I'll turn into a pack horse instead of a guard."

After this little introductory joke, they half-earnestly began whining about every kind of pain they could imagine, trying hard not to laugh too hard. But it felt good. When the sun peaked behind the horizon, they were ready to go, both in a good mood, at least for a while. Later that day, they remembered their long list of half made up complains, and realized that they really weren't all that far fetched. If someone would have asked Lanea at that moment in what direction she was heading or what day it was, she wouldn't have been able to answer. She didn't know and she didn't care. Nothing mattered except the ground under her feet and the edge of the pack of whoever was in front of her.

When they made camp at the edge of a clearing, she used the last dredge of her energy to help Sindarin set up their tarp, and then she simply fell onto her sleeping mat, and didn't move. She was aware of the noises around her and unconsciously defined them as people speaking, dropping stuff, scrapping wooden spoons on wooden bowls…

"Eat"

…and the smell of something warm right next to her face.

"Did the captain ask you to bring it to me?" she mumbled, a side of her face pressed into the ground.

"No. but you're sharing the watch with me and I don't want you to fall asleep. It would get quite boring then. We have to finish our list of whinings. I bet you'll have lots of new ones to add. Eat." She envied the fact that he had enough strength left to grin.

~*~*~

"Walking and carrying your necessities. Basic, but important, especially if ya have to get somewhere far and fast on your own two feet. 'll teach ya only to bring what ya need. Ya're no girlies who need five dresses a day, hats, shoes, mirrors…Now, ya'll get to use the weapons ya were given. Pair up with someone of your approximate built…if possible," the captain added after a glance at this group, but went right on, "ya'll practice with the sword first. There are two general techniques when fighting with the sword. If ya're little and fast, you use the _strike and sprint method, when ya're kind of slow and heavy, ya then use the __hack with all ya got method. If ya don't fall into one or the other of those categories, ya…" and he kept going along those lines for quite a while. Lanea wondered, not for the first time, why he didn't turn blue from lack of oxygen. As for his comment about "girlies," she didn't pay any attention to them anymore. Better not let anyone know it irritated her so much, or they would begin asking questions. And she definitely didn't need questions._

~*~*~

She wasn't good at swordsmanship. That was the least that could be said. In the captain's words, she thought "like a fly, and a wingless one at that." She was small, and she wasn't slow, but the sword seemed unnatural in her hand. She couldn't get used to it, and always got into the positions for hand combat, which was a mistake when fighting against Sindarin, the only person anywhere near her own stature. He was good. _Very good. __Jeez, it's as if he was born with a blade. I pity his mother, whoever she is. He bested her every time and had her down in a matter of a minute or two. __Take a step, engage the blade, parry, quarter circle, riposte, ahh! Damn! The sword was quite heavy, and her muscles weren't used to making such movements. When Sindarin went at her, she had trouble seeing the movements of his blade, and she couldn't remember what kind of circle to do for a parry. Semi circle, quarter circle, eight of a circle, over the top, under… she didn't have time to think about those things if she wanted to keep her sword in her hand. __There's simply no time to learn properly! How is it supposed to become an instinct if I don't even know what I'm doing? Jeez. Another bout, another try at parrying his attacks anyway that seemed good enough to keep her in the game a minute longer. __Time. __That's what this is all about. Give yourself a bit more time… to try to riposte… to live…Not this time. She lost again._

_I feel so stupid. How am I supposed to act like a guy when every little boy had been playing at "let's fight and kill ourselves, then resuscitate and do it all over again" since he could walk, while the first time I've actually used a sword was exactly two days ago? Sigh.__ I'm a woman! I'm strong! I can do it! I only have to work a little harder, that's it…_

~*~*~

*From J.R.R.Tolkien's _the lord of the rings _


	10. part 10 yay to change the boring chapter...

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ As promised in the previous chapter, here is the mid-week post. =) can you guess where is the little commemoration to Lord of the rings? A cookie to anyone who finds it =) and another cookie to anyone who reviews!!

~*~*~

Part 10~

She got used to the walking and the hauling. It wasn't that bad really. At least when the weather was good. But it had been raining for the past week, alternating between downpours and wet mists, never quite stopping. Everything was wet, and nothing could dry. Lanea was near the front of the group, walking slowly through the dense underbrush of the forest, which caught at her clothes and pressed its cold spindly twigs to her legs. The dark clouds overhead perfectly matched her dark mood. She had a headache ever since it had started raining; usually not very painful, but always there, in the back of her mind, making her ears ring. She was just fortunate this was not an exercise in silent movement, like the one they had before the weather changed, or she, and everyone else for that matter, would have failed miserably. The forest floor was littered with last autumn's fallen leaves, and no one bothered to pick their feet up.__

_If this backpack wasn't so damn heavy, then maybe I wouldn't be so grumpy! It's like all the damn water is collecting there. I'm carrying a lake! She growled to herself, as the wet straps of her bag dug into her shoulders, chaffing the wet skin and overbalancing her at every step she took. Her muscles were sore from trying to make up for the load added by the rain that permeated everything. Lan longed for a hot bath, both to wash her grubby clothes and to relax her poor body._

The group's present goal was to reach a checkpoint where they could rest for a little while, eat something else beside what they had brought with them, and dry everything off. It was four days of constant but not hurried walking away from the point they had left three days ago, and they weren't even half way to their destination. 

Lanea occupied herself by cursing the weather for a while, not forgetting to throw one or two well placed swears to the Gods too, for letting it rain for such a long time, on _her! And then she cursed herself, just as hard._

While her mind had been on the rain, her feet had kept moving straight, unaware of the bend in the road. At the last moment, she realized what she was doing and she wobbled at the edge, trying to keep her body from toppling over. But what would have been simple enough turned out impossible, as the weight of her bag dragged her over the cliff.

She didn't scream. She didn't even feel fear. It all happened too fast. The next thing she knew, she was lying on the leaf covered floor, eleven feet below the path.

"Lan! You're alright?" someone yelled from above. Sindarin skidded on the wet leaves, but took a safer route down.

"Lan! You scared the hell out of me! What were you thinking?!"

"Well, that's the problem. I wasn't." Her voice sounded too calm to her own ears. "Look, I'm fine. Nothing happened."

"Nothing happened. Nothing happened! I thought you had broken your neck!"

"Ah, wouldn't you like that? Then you wouldn't have to share anything anymore." She regretted what she said as soon as it left her mouth, but she was tired, and as stated previously, not thinking coherently.

"Shut up you little ass hole! You're my partner whether you like it or not, and it's my responsibility to look after you" he growled, pulling her up. "You sure you're okay?" he was still frowning.

"Yep. This damn thing is my guardian angel," she patted her bag. Its top reached just above her head and had acted like a large pillow, cushioning her fall and preventing Sindarin's worried from coming true.

"What are you two doing down there, picking mushrooms? Get going!" the captain had just come up, bringing the rear. Sindarin narrowed his eyes, but Lan only shrugged and began the slow ascent back onto the road. To say the least, it was a lot slower than the other way around.

~*~*~

Lan's ears had not stopped ringing by evening; her headache became rather worse, and she wondered whether she had hurt her head after all. Her vision wasn't damaged, but she felt cold. Of course, the rain didn't help, but she was almost sure that her shivers weren't caused by the weather alone. She felt sick, but not enough to ask for medications, and have a mark against her. That was another thing in the guard. If the recruits needed help (and medications were counted as help) or if they did not follow discipline, they had a mark against them. Ten marks and you were out. At the end, the marks were written on the license, so of course, the less you had, the better guard you were.

_I'll wait 'till tomorrow. If I don't get better then maybe I'll ask for something._

She did not wait until morning.

She woke up in the night, feeling cold and very weak. Her head turned and she couldn't quite focus her mind on any one thing. She got up shakily and walked out into the rain, stumbling on the first tree root that laid on her path. She made the rest of the way on all four, but she didn't get very far before retching her guts out. She lay down on the muddy ground and turned her face to the sky. It had stopped raining. No. she could still feel the cold prickles on her hands, but not on her face. She opened her eyes and looked into someone's dark face. The someone held an oiled cloth above her.

"Lan?"

_Sindarin__. Who else could it have been? Said a semi lucid voice in her mind. She rolled her head over; her too pale face staring at his._

"Do you have a death wish or something?" she didn't respond and Sindarin frowned. "Come on. Staying in the rain won't help." He half carried half dragged her to the tent they shared, thinking all the while that the young boy was much too light.

"Lan, I don't think you should go to bed all wet. You'll only make things worse."

"You're not my father."

"No, but I could be your older brother. Change your shirt." 

She didn't move, so he was about to do it for her, thinking she was too weak.

"No!" she said with far more strength that he thought her capable of at that moment. 

He looked at her shivering dark form for a while before sighing with resignation. "If you feel even worse in the morning, don't blame me." And after another moment of silence: "Good night little brother. Sleep well."

She waited until his breath became calm and regular before quickly changing into something dry with numb fingers that didn't want to cooperate, then snuggling under her blanket. She was cold and still very weak, but already felt better after purging the contents of her stomach. Outside, it rained on, as Lan thought about her own older brother Sam, wondering how he would have acted in this situation. Most likely, he wouldn't have woken up in the first place, but she still missed his quiet smiles and funny expressions. She missed Buggle, her heart brother, and the two unruly youngsters. She even missed her prissy little sister.

~*~*~

A/N~ so? There's actually quite a bit that happened to me (the backpacking and falling off cliff. No cute guy went to rescue me though =( *sniff and pout*) and I didn't get sick. *yay* review please! And thanks to all of you who did! It makes me want to write faster =)


	11. part 11

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ Sorry Gus. Well, okay so there are TWO lord of the rings thinggy's in the story so far, and Sindarin's name is one of them, but it's not fair since I wrote where I got it from. So there's another one out there still. =) Saphie, lots of thanks and hugs! =) although I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm anywhere as good as Misty. I'll let her write the stories, and I'll keep on writing my own silly little fics. Thanks so much for the reviews!

~*~*~

Part 11~

"Take your positions…pick your target…fire!" Six arrows flew and hit their targets with different amount of accuracy; half an inch to the left and one would have flown right by its target. Lanea was happy that for once, she wasn't the worst. She wasn't even mediocre. Without wanting to brag, she could even say she was one of the best, only rivaled by the captain himself. 

She glanced at Sindarin's target, already knowing that it was near the center; but not quite. She also didn't have to look around her to know whose arrow was the farthest form the mark. She could have deducted that from the voice and the swearing if she needed to, but it was always the same person. Matejas. That was rather strange because he was a tall and muscular man and he had good coordination in swordsmanship. Maybe archery was an inborn skill? That would prove why she was so good at it, she, the smallest and weakest of them all. Maybe it was because she really loved archery and _wanted to be good at it. But that didn't matter in the end. What did matter was that she had an efficient way of protecting herself in case of need, and that she didn't have to suffer Sindarin's arrogant little smiles anymore, like the ones he used during swords practice. Maybe he didn't realize he was doing it, and maybe, being a girl, Lanea was more prone at picking up facial emotions, interpreting them as something, while it was something else._

"Matejas, would you mind shutting up for once? We all know what you feel about archery by now; you don't have to repeat yourself." The man glanced at the captain and closed his mouth. 

They aimed and shot again, and again, and again, then retrieved their arrows and began anew. _Ah! The beauty of sunny days. No rain or humidity to do funny things to bow strings. That's what I call life._

A few hours later, they began working with moving targets. That was definitely…entertaining. In groups of two, one person threw a disk into the air, while the second tried to shoot it before it fell back onto the ground.

"Are you blind?! Watch where you're f… aiming! You son of a b…! You almost took my eye out with that thing!" after that, Matejas was put back on stationary targets. The captain didn't want any casualties. 

~*~*~

In the evening, now that they didn't fall on their faces as soon as they hit camp, they sat around the fire and talked or played cards, which Tuck had thought of bringing with him, thank god. When it rained, they sometimes all squeezed under one tarp, or two close to each other, to stay dry. During such nights, they couldn't light a fire and so card play was obviously out, but heated discussions became a permanent nightly action, and everyone threw in his own opinions. Jek didn't actually talk, but he listened and nodded in agreement from time to time. He was a strange kind of guy; calm and reserved. He talked the least possible, and rarely above a whisper. That is, except once.

That time, he had gone off by himself, probably to relieve a full bladder. They could all hear his footsteps. It had gotten silent for a while, then they had heard a scream and had seen him running back as if chased by a bear. Everyone had jumped up and grabbed whatever weapon happen to be close by, aiming at the place Jek had come from. They had waited in tense silence, holding their breath, wondering what the heck was about the lunge at them. Jek had been deathly pale, and the only one weaponless, but by the way his hands had been shaking, they knew he couldn't have been useful in any combat anyway. The silence had prolonged itself; the fire had cracked from time to time, covering the approach of the beast. Suddenly, the bushes had moved, and out had come…a little porcupine. Someone had snorted, someone else had given Jek a _look, and pretty soon, everybody had ended up laughing, some with tears in their eyes, others on the floor, holding their sides. All, except poor Jek, still white as snow, eyeing the little beasty as if it was his mother in law. __Yep, there he had been loud. But after that, he didn't speak a word for a REALLY  long time…and avoided to go into the woods alone. _

~*~*~

The day was much warmer than they were used to for the end of October. Sure, they were heading south, but it was also nearing winter. They were back onto the trail after a day of rest at the checkpoint, during which they had washed and fixed their clothes and renewed their provisions. They had the opportunity to sleep in between four walls and have a solid roof over their heads, but for once, it hadn't been raining. The small barracks had been musty so they all ended up sleeping outside anyway.

The small vacation was however quickly forgotten in favor of grumblings about the unnatural heat. Cloaks and jackets were cast off, then shirts followed for all the recruits…except Lan that is. She eyed the male members with a jealous eye, feeling one for the first injustice against her sex. Another, even harsher, would soon follow. As the sun sank behind a hill, the ambient temperature did not drop. It actually seemed to increase because of the humidity. After setting up camp they laid down on the cool floor like dead flies. One of the _flies came back from a little excursion._

"Captain, I ask for permission to go off camp, to the lake. It's not far." He got a nod. The other _flies suddenly resuscitated and __flew off; their happy yelling could be heard from quite a distance._

"Hey Lan, did you hear?"

"Mmm"

"You're not coming?"

"No."

"Why?"

"…don't know how to swim."

"I'll teach you." Head shake. "Come on, it's shallow waters, and cool…"

"Nuh unh." A shrug, then he too went off.

Lanea crossed her hands behind her head and laid back down with her eyes closed, daydreaming about the cool liquid water flowing over her body, taking away the heat and the tiredness. Sigh. Life wasn't fair, but she had chosen it, so she couldn't complain. _Of course I can complain! If women were allowed to serve in the guard, I wouldn't have to hide who I am. I wouldn't have to lie in this heat instead of taking a plunge. Well, actually, it went quite smoothly up to know. Not too much problems with feminine inconveniences, except two or three scares, quickly taken care of. The guys aren't too inquisitive and I don't think they'll find out unless I make a mistake… her thoughts kept along that track, planning her future, and thinking about the past until the guys came back with smiles on their faces, radiating coolness. Lan's face fell. No, life wasn't fair after all, but that could be taken care of._

~*~*~

when she thought everyone was asleep, she left quietly, taking an extra shirt and her bow. The lake was small and reflected the starlight; Lanea smiled to herself. She had taken her shoes off when she heard him. And she heard his soft footsteps only because she had been half expecting them.

"Don't come any closer." She pointed her arrow at his chest.

"Lan, it's me."

"I know it's you. Don't come closer."

"Okay I won't, but put that thing down please."

"Don't come closer or…or … you'll loose your manhood."

"I told you I won't." he took a step back, just in case, or to show her he really meant it. "I heard you go away. You said you can't swim."

"Don't worry about me."

"If it's your stupid pride that gets you from accepting help in learning to swim, you…"

"Don't worry about me." A long silence.

"You are a funny little guy, you know?...don't do anything stupid little brother."

He left as silently as he had come. She waited a long while to make sure he wouldn't come back, and she undressed quickly, her back to the forest, just in case. The water was cooler than she had expected, but it felt wonderful. She swam around in circles for a time, enjoying the feeling of weightlessness, then rubbed herself with sand and passed her hands through her hair a few times. 

She didn't want to come out. 

Not far away, an owl called its mate; it responded from the other side of the lake. 

The moon almost hadn't moved. Still in the water, floating on her back while looking at the stars, Lan saw one of them fall. She made a wish, a smile on her face.

~*~*~

A/N~ Ha! How is that for a lengthy chapter? Blame or thank my neighbor for it. He has friends in his room and they are talking too loud for me to sleep. They don't seem to be moving out any time soon, unfortunately for me. Poor, sleep deprived me =( 

~Ola~


	12. part 12

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ thank you for the reviews! =) Nothing new. Same disclaimer (which is somewhere in the first chapter I think). A actually, there IS something new =) a brand new chapter =) (mmm, as if no one noticed =) anyway, enjoy:

~*~*~

Part 12~

Lanea glared at the floor, then at the silent forest. At first, although faint, the tracks had been visible if she carefully searched for them. A broken twig, a squashed blade of grass, and once in a while, even a clear footstep in the mud, hastily covered by a leaf, as its owner tried to buy himself some time. And then, she had come upon another track. Her own.

_The asshole!__ He circled back to the original track. _

Now, it was all muddled because since _she had been tracking him, she hadn't thought about hiding her own passage.__ What a fool. That'll teach me. With a sigh, she looked around her. Yes, now that she knew it, she recognized that copse of trees over there, and that weird branch sticking out of the bush. With another sigh, she continued the search, her face near the ground, looking for any sign that would tell her that he had once again left the original track.__ It's hard, but not impossible. I'll get the bastard before time is called._

~*~*~

She didn't. The horn sounded. The time was up. And Lan was mad. After learning about tracking, they had split up into their usual groups to test their newly acquired skills. At the first call of the horn, Sindarin had gone on ahead. At the second, Lan had went after him. She had been supposed to find him by the third sounding of the captain's horn, two hours later. But now, the roles would be switched. _It's__ payback time, jackass, she thought as she glared at Sindarin's smug face. It was her turn now._

She took off at a run, not bothering to hide her passage as long as she was within his sight. The underbrush of the forest was dense, full of fronds and ferns and prickly bushes, but she didn't care whether Sindarin could easily track her up to this point. Actually, the easier she made it now, the more it would baffle him later. She only had to find the right spot to put her pl…

_Yes! Right here! Ha! _

She scribbled something in the moist earth, then very carefully, stepped back into her footsteps, making the way backward for a few meters, up to a tree branch she could use to climb on. From then on, she stepped from tree to tree, careful not to leave any indications as to her whereabouts. The point where she had climbed was especially crucial. Fortunately, the leaves hadn't lost their leaves yet, and would provide her a wonderful hiding place. 

She heard the second horn. _The game is on, pal. And I just wish I could see your face, back there, where…_

~*~*~

…the tracks suddenly stopped._ What the heck? Though Sindarin. He looked around, then back at the ground, and noticed the sign. A smiley face and clearly visible words:_

"And what now, idiot?"

He scowled. It took him a while to realize that Lan had re-stepped into the same footprints. They were only slightly less clear then the first ones. But the easiness of the track had fooled him. Again, he lost track of where she had gone, not knowing exactly where she had stepped off in a new direction. _Because he had to, or I would have met him on the way. Damn little brat. He's so light his footsteps don't even sink in the mud. Arrgg! He spent the rest of the time circling around, trying to find some clue. He didn't realize what the trick was. Lan, safe in her tree, looked on, trying not to laugh her head off.__ At least he didn't give up. Lol, that was fun! At the sound of the third horn, she followed him to camp to report, making sure he didn't see her coming down her perch. __Sweet revenge._

Hearing the other two groups, Lanea was surprised that they had all managed to find each other.

"And you two" the captain said "are either blind and stupid …or very adept at disappearing and hiding,"

"I know that he circled around and came back onto my own tracks to muddle his own sir," Lan explained. The captain nodded, then looked expectantly at Sindarin.

"Lan doubled back on his own footsteps too"

"Yes, and?" said Lan before the captain could nod. 

Sindarin narrowed his eyes dangerously. If looks could kill, Lan would have been 6 feet under. The silence dragged on.

"You didn't find the trick." Lan sounded very satisfied as she rubbed it in. _12 feet under._

"Which was?" his voice was unnaturally cold.

"Ha, if I tell you, I won't be able to use it anymore." _18 feet under. Damn, that much ground's starting to get quite heavy. =)_

"Grrr, you little…"

"Don't bicker." The captain intervened before there was bodily damage. "Ya're supposed to work as a group, not try to outstip each otha!"

And that was the end of that.

~*~*~

The sun was high up; it's rays pierced the tree's canopy, to fall to the ground muted. As small yellow green spots of moving light._ It won't last long now. The trees were in their full autumn display, and soon, after a few windy or rainy days, they would loose their splendor._

Sitting half in the sun and half in the shade, Lan wished she could have the leisure to look at the trees._ But no. I have to fix those stupid arrows. She always carried her arrows in two equal bundles of twelve, and in one of those, she had lost three and broken seven. Since the bow was her favorit weapon, she needed to look after her ammunitions, and she couldn't simply go to the market and buy some in the next few days.___

_Argg__!__ Why don't you stay in place stupid thing!!! Two more. Two more and I'll end it for today. Five arrows is a good number. And I still have the other, unused twelve if necessary anyway. And then, if it gets to that, there's always that cursed sword, that weighs more than it's worth. Sigh. With a clear view of the end of her set goal, she worked faster and with more concentration. __Yeah! Finally done!_

"Captain? How long until we leave again?"

"'Bout half an hour."

She nodded her thanks, grabbed a pair of pants, a shirt, her bow and newly mended arrows, than took off on her own, trailed by Sindarin's curious gaze.

The day had finally let go of the cumbersome heat, and become quite cool, especially at night, so Lanea didn't have swimming in mind this time, but her clothes needed a new face lift, especially her muddy pants. They had become so hard from the dirt and muck that had accumulated on them that they could have stood upright on their own. Fortunately, this whole region was full of little lakes like the one near which she had aimed at Sindarin. They had clear blue water, and sometimes even tiny sandy beaches among the tall grass. And they were excellent to sooth tired feet that had seen the inside of a shoe for a bit too long.

~*~*~

Lanea heard then coming for some time, thinking they were Sindarin, and already thinking up a curt reprimand to tell him for following her. Again. That is, until she realized that whoever it was that was coming toward her was making a lot more noise than Sindarin ever would. Slowly, she picked up her bow, glancing at what now looked like a very empty quiver, and taking note of the numbness of her cold and wet fingers. She didn't have long to wait. 

There they were, similar as brothers. When they saw her, they stopped, then the one in the middle yelled something. She didn't understand. And what's more, she didn't even know what language he was speaking._ They're not Karsites or Rethwelanians. They don't sound or look like ones. Some tribe of northern barbarians? I've never heard of them this far south._

"Who are you!" _ha! They probably just asked me the same thing. They continued in their guttural tongue, sounding louder and looking angrier. __Oh oh…_

"Don't come closer!" she made her strung bow clearly visible to them, but kept it pointing to the ground. For now. The three continued their yelling, oriented toward her, and from time to time toward each other. They took a few steps toward her, until she raised her bow and stretched the string.

"Don't move. Or go away. I don't want to have to shot you."_ Meanwhile, she did quick calculations, getting ready just in case. _

_Three of them, five arrows, or four if I want to send them a warning one first. If I do it quick, I should get them all before they come close enough to harm me. But still, I would have liked them farther away. But another little voice said inside her head:__ will you really kill them? Are you ready for that? Cold blooded murder? Maybe they're in need of help. She recalculated.__ One warning arrow. I've two arrows for one of them, and one each for the other two. Better make it count. The legs or the arms? Arms can move too quickly and are small targets, but leg wounds may not stop them from using those weird swords they have. And if I run? Not an option anymore. You don't know their speed. Plus, if they get too close, you won't be able to use your bow anymore. And you kind of don't have any other weapon. Damn woods. Can't see anything in them until it's too late._

~*~*~

A/N~ so? You wanted longer chapter, so you got a cliffy =) what's gonna happen to her? Who are those guys? Actually, I could have ended it in an even worse part, a little later on. Mmm, maybe I will, in the next chapter. What do you think? We will see =)


	13. part 13 lucky number?

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ ha! Lucky number! Not so lucky for Lan, unfortunately…

Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews. =)

~*~*~

Part 13~

"He doesn't understand."

"One of 'em bloody ones from Valdemar prob'bly."

"Are we getting him?"

"He's just a boy."

"A boy with a mouth and a pair of legs. He will run to the nearest village and alert everyone."

"So you're simply gonna kill him?"

"Not if he cooperates…but he seems reluctant to do that."

"Well, I'd be reluctant too, knowing you."

"Shut up. All right, split up. Mern, you take the left, Adir, take the right. Don't make any sudden moves. I don't wanna test his aiming abilities. The first one who gets near him knocks him out. We'll bring him to the chief, he'll know what to do with him. He has such a pretty face. He may be of some use after all, heh heh…now go!"

They took a couple of steps. An arrow sank into the ground in between the middle one's feet. When he looked up, the boy stood with his legs slightly apart, another arrow ready for release.

"So you'll shot us, eh? Get him! Run!" The three men pounced on Lan. A heartbeat later, one of them crashed to the ground with a yell, an arrow piercing his leg. _Two guys, three arrows. Another one fell, but got up again. Lan used another arrow, this time to the second leg. He fell a second time, and didn't get up. She could hear what she took as his cursing reverberating loudly in the woods. __One guy, one arrow. Where to shoot? Damn it! She took her aim carefully, locking on to the running man.__ 60 feet…50 feet…40…wait a bit, a little bit more…Now! The arrow flew…_

…and missed the man's neck by half an inch.

For a fraction of a second, Lanea just stood there, her mouth open, her eyes wide. _Shit! And then she ran. But that last man was faster. She heard his labored breathing behind her, and her heart jumped to her throat. She was running away from the other two men, but also away from her camp. __No! she skidded on the leaves and zigzagged back the way she had come, angling a little away from the spot she had felled the men, trying to reach the other member of her group. She looked over her shoulder and was alarmed to see him with his sword out, ready to take a swing.  Lan instinctively covered her face with her left hand and felt the tip of the blade slicing her palm. Fire erupted in her whole arm. _

Both the prey and the hunter had stooped their crazy chase, standing still, breathing heavily, and eyeing each other. Lan with fear at the situation, the man with vicious hate. Quicker than she had thought possible, he took another swing. She would never have had time to escape the blade this time if it wasn't because she tripped trying to move away and fell backwards. And even then, he got her in the chest, opening a long gash down her front, cutting through flesh, jacket, and the cloth she had used to bind her breasts. From her now prone position, she looked at the leering man, carving into her mind his face and the way he raised his long iron sword over her head, then she closed her eyes, praying he would make it quick and painless.

_So this is what it feels like? Being scared to death? Being scared OF death? She sobbed helplessly, feeling a pulsating warmth soaking her shirt. __God, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die!..._

The moment dragged on for what felt like forever. She didn't feel a thing anymore…except the slightest of breezes, just dancing over her cheek._ Is it over? Am I dead? It hurts too much. I thought death took the pain away… Why can I still think? The forest was strangely quiet. No. she could hear someone running. Or was it simply a memory of what had just happened, replaying in her mind? Her running through the forest, everything a blur, and yet, everything oddly sharp at the same time._

She opened her eyes. The trees were still there, although blurred by her tears, but the man wasn't.

Her name.

Someone was calling her name. But her own throat was too dry to respond. Slowly, biting back moans of pain, she raised her head up. It hurt, especially when she constricted her stomach. The man was still there, but he was lying down, an arrow protruding from his bloody throat. _Not my own, a passing thought. The girl looked down at herself then, assessing the damage at best she could. She was trembling, and couldn't control the spasmatic clutching of her hand on the bloody rent of her shirt, she knew she must have lost a lot of blood. She felt cold and sweaty. __Feel like a damn healer, coldly enumerating someone else's death wounds, she thought, but she was too tired to care or to be surprised. __Must be shock. Indifference and coldness. She started seeing black spots in front of her eyes. One of the spots was red, and moving faster then the others._

"Lan! God, you're alright?!"

The spot grew arms and legs, and a face she knew she should recognize. The young man saw her pale but conscious face.

"You really do have a death wish, little brother." She didn't answer. Her eyes rolled, and she fell back into the pile of dirt and leaves, back into the darkness.

~*~*~

A/N~ mmm, how's that for an ending, eh? Well, sorry, but I got to go. In the meantime, you can wonder what will happen to poor Lan. =) evil me. No presents for Christmas. What?! No! no! wait, I'll be good! I promise! And you be good too, and leave me a little review, so santa won't forget ya! Do we have a bargain here? Lol =)

~Ola~


	14. part 14 should have called it 13 again, ...

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ sorry it took that long. I had it ready before then, but I wanted to make some comments on some of your reviews, and I just had to find some time to do it! =) and here is the story: (hope you'll enjoy it)

~*~*~

Part 14~

When he saw her loose consciousness, Sindarin raced the last few feet and fell on his knees by her side. The little form looked even smaller now, and very pale, but had a steady, although weak pulse. Carefully, so as not to worsen the wound, he pulled apart the bloody sides of the shirt, where he thought the most damage had been done. The sword had cut through the skin and some muscles but had not reached any internal organs. The cut fortunately wasn't very deep. It started in the middle of the stomach and ran in a relatively straight line up to…

_What the…_

Sindarin jumped back as if burned. The wound stopped in between two unmistakable round bumps that should not have been there he glanced lower,a t another place that could give him a clue. It was flat…and it shouldn't have been.

_Damn…so that's his little secret? That would explain a few things. Why he…she never took her shirt off, or went swimming with us…her voice, her small frame, her…_

"Ahhh!"

Lanea's hand shot up to clutch the front of Sindarin's shirt with more strength that he had thought her capable of, especially in her present state. Her big eyes stared at him out of her pale face.

"Don't…tell…anyone…. …please." He had trouble understanding her.

"You're hurt Lan. You need help."

"They can't …know." Her voice was hard and now surer of herself.

"I won't tell, I promise, but you can't go around with your stomach in shreds. The cut's not deep, but it'll get infected if you don't treat it."

Her eyes had lost their glassy look, but he noticed that her hand still shook a little as she tried to cover her breast. He kept his gaze on her face out of respect for her privacy.

"The lake. There's a stream running into it." He nodded and carefully picked her up. "You appeared out of nowhere." She didn't know how to phrase her question. "I mean, did you hear them yelling? Or where you coming here by coincidence?...or were you following me again?"

"No. they were part of a bigger group that attacked the camp. There weren't many of them; it didn't last long, although we ended up with one minor wounded. You weren't there and I remembered seeing you leave this way…I... got worried for my little brother…" the last word hang in the silence between them, until they reached the running water.

"Turn around."

"You're hurt. What if you faint and drown?"

"I can take care of myself. Turn around please." that tone of voice of hers was back again.

"All right, but you have to talk to me the entire time, so I know you're okay."

"uh hum…but I don't have anything to say."

"tell me what happened."

"Oww…I got hurt because of my own stupidity. I didn't want to kill them, so I aimed for the legs. I didn't…ahhh! It's cold. Arrg. @#$!$%. I didn't have enough arrows." He heard splashing, muttering, and cursing.

"What about the last guy?"

"What about him? He died. You killed him, remember? Beautiful shot I may add." There was something strange in her voice.

"Lan."

"What. What! What do you want me to say? That I was scared to death? That I ran like a coward? That…that I completely missed my last shot?!! Because I did!" There was a strangled sob, and no more splashing, except for the quiet one of the water against some rocks. Overhead, the leaves rustled, and farther away, a bird called.

"Lan? Say something. Or I'll turn around. Lan?"

"Do you have anything I could use as a bandage?" she whispered. He gave her his shirt.

"Do you need help?"

"No, thanks. But I have to get back to the lake. Since this shirt is ruined, I'll need the one I left there." A few minutes later, she swayed back into his vision. His attempt to give her a hand was met by a shake of the head and another "I'm fine." He shrugged.

"Sindarin?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you." He grinned.

"You're welcome…little brother. But you can't possibly know how many questions I have now, starting with what's you're real name. because I can bet everything I own that your real one isn't Lan…"

"No, it's not…but it's safer if you don't know it."

Sigh. "I understand. But if you'll ever want to talk about it, I'll be _very happy to listen." A nod._

"Sindarin?"

"What?"

"Please don't tell anyone? I have to finish this."

"Listen, I already told you I won't. I promises, and I always keep my promises."

~*~*~

__________________________________

~A few comments to _your_ comments =) ~

- little mermaid- thanks! And don't worry. I actually haven't even thought about mulan being the base of this story (although I liked the movie). I have the story all planed out (well, almost) and you're in for loads of surprises (I hope) =)

- trina ti- sorry about the length, but then, I can upload them sooner =) but if you still want longer ones, I could make you wait a little longer *grins*

- saphie- I hope you haven't banged you head too hard on anything .lol. sorry, but it's those evil cliffies that make people read on! And don't you think it adds suspense? *smiling innocently*

- falcon rider- did this chapter answer your question? =)

- flame angel- I hope that was a nice ooo, and not one of deception… 

- ahrel- grins

- shallot- hope you didn't make a dent in the wall =) the cookies were yummy. Thanks!

- Darkstar- the _female_ lead, euh? Lol. 

And as always, keep those reviews coming! It makes my day! (especially now that the time of the evil finals has come around the bend!)

~Ola~


	15. part 15 pride and morning mist

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ really really sorry about the wait. This is also a short chapter, so I'll post two, ok, and it will be sort of a Christmas present =) but I do have an excuse! First, I had finals, and so when I had some free time, all I wanted to do was sleep. Then, I was too busy buying/making/ finking of Christmas presents. But here I am now. And I hope you enjoy it!:

~*~*~

Part 15~ pride and morning mist.

"Hey, where were you two? We were about to go looking for you. You're all right Lan? You don't look that well."

"I'm fine. I'll live sir."

"What happened?"

"Got into a scrap with…dunno who they were. Not from Valdemar. Didn't speak any language I know of. One's dead, two are wounded. From what Sindarin told me, they probably were an offshoot of the group the rest of you met with, sir."

"Were you hurt?"

"Not much sir."

"We're leaving in five minutes then, fast walk for the rest of the day. I wanna get as far as possible from here." He clearly saw the pained look on Lanea's face, and the way it lost the little color it had. "That's what I thought." He grumbled. 

"All right, listen up everyone! Change of plans. We have two wounded who need rest. But we can't stay here. Everybody else, burry those three men, then help the wounded carry their packs. We're moving a mile south."

~*~*~

He woke up to the sound of someone softly crying into a blanket. It was still dark out, except for the faint flickering of firelight.

"Lan?" he whispered. The crying stopped, to be replaced by shakings, barely visible in the dark, and a muffled sob from time to time.

"Hey, Lan, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"N…no. L…leave me a…a…lone. I'm o…o…kay" Sniff.

"No you're not okay. Tell me what's wrong." Another sniffle.

"Why do you always want to help me? Why are you always there when I have a problem? …and sometimes even when I don't? the fact that I am a girl doesn't mean I have to be constantly looked after. I can take care of myself." the last part was barely audible, but whispered fiercely.

"Sure you can, but even little brothers need help from time to time. And it's okay to cry."

"I wasn't crying." A sob escaped her, then another.

"Ssshh, it's all right."

"I hate you…" she whispered in between two sniffles, then broke down and let her tears flow freely, not resisting him when he took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth.

"I…I c…can see them in m…my d…drea…eams. They're c…coming a…after me…e. _(hiccup). I didn't want to kill them. I __didn't kill them. I promises I didn't. but they're coming at me, in the dark…"_

"Sssh, they won't come anymore. I'm here. Don't be afraid. They won't come."

It was still dark, except for the flicker of the fire.

~*~*~

It was barely light enough to see; the western part of the sky had turned a shade lighter than the rest, drawing silhouettes and half recognizable shapes in the light mist that slithered around the dark trunks of the trees. At least that's what one would think them to be. The morning had turned quite cool again, a change from the warmth of the several previous days.

A slim form, in no shape similar to any bush one would have heard of, was crouching over two bags, on the outskirts of the camp.

"Sindarin." The form jumped, visibly shaken by the unexpected, although low, sound right behind its back.

"Yes sir?"

"Is there an explanation for whatever it is that ya are doing?" A moment of hesitation.

"There is sir."

"And that is?" silence. "I am not trying to get ya in trouble boy, but I am responsible for this company and don't wish for anyone to suffer wrong doings." The young man glanced at the dark tarp outline by the sky, then again at his captain.

"I am lightening Lan's pack." A raised eyebrow, waiting for further interpretations.

"He was hurt during yesterday's attack…slashed in the stomach. The wound isn't very deep, but will take a few days to heal properly… He is too proud to complain, and would carry his share, reopening the wound and slowly bleeding himself to death." For a moment, he wondered whether he had done the right thing.

The old man tightened his lips. "Pride is a dangerous thing."

"Sir? Would it be possible for you not to mention to him this little…conversation?" a nod. He was about to leave.

"Errh, sir? One more thing. Could I have something against inflammations and cuts?... I understand the consequences and am ready to bear the effects." The captain looked at him for a long time before nodding, and walking away into the morning mist, becoming just another form in the milky whiteness, then disappearing completely.

~*~*~

A/N~ thinking that Sindarin is a bit overprotective, and getting annoying? Well, so does Lanea. =)

As always, please review! =)

~Ola~


	16. part 16

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ Now it's Sindarin's turn to mess things up. Ah, guys will always be guys…

****HERE IS THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT*****

~*~*~

Part 16~

_Oh no, not sword practice again! _

Lan stood stiffly, her sword in her right hand, a bandage covering her left. Facing her stood Dareel, his teeth shining in the morning sun. they had changed partners so as not to get overly used to one fighting style. At the captain's signal, they began a bout. Dareel was good and his long hands allowed him to penetrate deeper into her safety zone, so that Lan was always on the defensive, unable to take a chance at a single offensive blow. What's more, her chest and stomach hurt, as newly knitted skin was stretched and pulled when she lunged and rebounded.

_At least I'm still in the game ten minutes later, not like at first with Sindarin._

But she spoke too soon, as the flat side of Dareel's sword hit her arm so hard it made her loose her own blade. His grin got even wider, until she zigzagged around him, rolled under his attack, and picked up her weapon in her other hand.

_Ah, now it will end quick._

Because of the bandage, her left hand grip wasn't as strong, and while trying to parry an especially vicious attack, she felt something tear in her lower chest. She valiantly tried to ignore the pain and continue fighting, feeling each and every of Dareel's fierce blows jarring her whole arm as she tried to parry them. For a fraction of a second, she finally saw an opening for an attack of her own, and without hesitation, she took her chance. The tip of her blade prickled Dareel's throat, just as his was pressing against hers. They stood like that for a moment, heaving from exertion.

"Good job." Lanea didn't have enough breath left to answer. Her sword fell from her numb hand, while she used her right to gingerly pat her stomach, where a small crimson stain was slowly growing.

"You are quite the little warrior. I didn't expect you to last that long, especially since you're not in your best physical condition today." His teeth showed even when he talked. Lanea nodded as an acknowledgment.

"Come on, let's get you a new bandage."

A few yards away, Sindarin's own bout against Tuck suddenly ended with his first defeat ever, as the older man's sword prickled Sindarin's chest in between two higher ribs during a moment of inattention during which his eyes had been following two people leaving the clearing, one of which was helping the other to walk.

~*~*~

She sat around the fire between Dareel and Amt, huddled in her cloak. Their laughter reverberated under the trees. For the first time, she was a part of their happy group, she shared their jokes, and participated in the conversation. For the first time, she truly forgot all her problems and her pain. And thus, the shock she received when she went to her tarp to sleep was all the greater.

"Enjoyed throwing yourself at them? Do they know you're a girl, or do they think you're gay?" the voice that escaped from the shadows was strangely altered from the one she knew.

"Err, what?" she didn't understand. 

"Don't play that game with me." He growled.

"You…you think I…with them?! It was cold! We were sitting together to keep warm! I…" she didn't know why she was trying to explain herself to him.

"You women are all the same."

"What!" she had trouble keeping her voice low. "You are an asshole Sindarin. You don't know what you're talking about. Did you drink something, or did you just loose it?"

"Go to them. Go to them you whore." She slapped him as hard as she could, unloading all her anger on him. For a long time, she could see the distant firelight dancing in his eyes.

"You even slap like a girl."

"Don't ever talk to me like that again." He didn't say anything. He just left.

~*~*~

Lanea couldn't sleep, but she didn't feel like rejoicing the group by the fire either. She trembled from anger, sitting on her blanket, looking into the dark._ What did he think I was doing? The bastard. Just as I had finally gotten to know Dareel and Mat, and how funny and nice they are, that idiot had to ruin the evening. What's gotten  into him? And even if I did__ do something with one of them, does he think he owns me or something? *$%@!#! I don't understand the guy. He was always trying to help me, and suddenly he's accusing me of…of...being a whore?! Arrgg! What a bloody idiot! I hate him!_

Outside, the clouds opened and the rain fell down, at first slowly, then faster and faster. The fire was covered by a quickly put together lean to of branches and leaves. Its light lessened. Sindarin didn't come back, and for a time, Lanea was glad he didn't. Her rage lost its glow._ Why did he say that? He was my friend, and my partner. I never thought he would purposefully hurt me. Ha! And now I care about what he thinks of me? _

The rain increased even more. The wind picked up. Lan shivered and covered herself with her blanket, glancing at the empty one on her left, worry tickling into her mind like an icy rivulet on her neck despite her fury. He hadn't come back.

~*~*~

She was woken up in the middle of the night by lightening striking nearby. In her sleep, she had pushed away her blanket and she was now rolled into a ball, shaking from the cold. She glanced at the empty space near her and after a minute of deliberations, pocked her head out from under the tarp. The fire had gone out, but the frequent lightening provided more than enough light to see by.

She found him lying behind their tarp, his knees drawn to his chest, and soaked to the bone. She couldn't see his face and wondered whether he was awake. Should she bring him a blanket? Should she tell him to stop acting like an idiot and come under the tarp? _After all, he's my friend...but he started it! And if he want to catch pneumonia, that's his problem! She scowled and went back to a dreamless sleep._

~*~*~

A/N~ what did you think? =) =)


	17. part 17

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ some more arguing and bickering between Lan and Sindarin…=)

~*~*~

Part 17~

It didn't get any better between the two. They avoided each other whenever they could, which wasn't easy, since they were partners. Sindarin kept sleeping outside, whether it was a clear night or not. But the worse were the nights of watch. They went by in the most complete silence, and seemed to go on forever.

~*~*~

"You…you…you're gay!" an angry shout coming from a person surrounded by a circle of men. 

Snort. "What?!" said the only other person in the circle.

"You heard me, I said you were gay!" _why did I say that, of all the insults I could have thrown at him? No matter now. Go on, I humiliated you, made you sleep outside like a dog, I was mean to you…come on, tell them my secret. Tell them I'm a girl. So? What are you waiting for?! I know you want to tell them…_

Lan was angry. 

She was _very angry. And she knew that Sindarin was too. She excepted him to blackmail her any second now. He simply had to. Who wouldn't, in his place? But she would never have anticipated what happened next._

"Of course I am. Need a proof?"

The tall youth brought both of his hands behind her neck and head. His lips connected with hers. Lan was too surprised to act, as her legs turned into jelly. When he let her go, he had an infuriating little smile on his face. He raised an eyebrow as if asking her opinion. He didn't have to wait long for an answer as her fist connected with his jaw. Someone cheered, someone else whistled. Lan walked away, not looking how Sindarin fared, but imagining very well what he must be feeling right about now.

She was angry. At him. At the world. And at herself.

~*~*~

"Atchou!" When he opened his eyes from the sneeze, there was a hand, holding a little red box, right under his nose. He looked up and frowned at the one intruding on his misery.

"What's that?"

"Medication."

"I don't need any."_ And I don't want any. I prefer my body to feel as miserably as my heart does. "Atchou!!"_

"Oh, reaaalllyy…" That wasn't a question. The box was thrust into his hand. He glared, but accepted it.

"Thanks."

"Don't take it to heart. It's in exchange for the anti-inflammatory stuff you gave me. I know you got a mark against you for asking for it. I don't like being in dept."

He didn't comment but popped one white pill into his mouth after peering at it suspiciously, and drank it down, then closed his eyes and laid back, hoping she would go away and leave him alone again. It didn't exactly have the wished for results. Now that she couldn't be caught in the act, Lanea closely looked at Sindarin's face. It was pale and drawn; dark circles surrounded his eyes._ And he's telling me he's not sick! Pfua! She quickly became seriously worried as he again had to sit up, racked by a violent cough, but she kept a stony face, keeping her emotions hidden._

"You're still here?" he growled when he could talk again.

"And who are you to tell me where to be? I'll be where I want to, when I want to!"

He exhaled forcefully then laid back down again, this time with his back to her. That ended the discussion for the time being.

~*~*~

A/N~ mmm, I'am wondering whether to continue with this part since the next one is a complete change of scene and would warrant a new chapter. Ok, I'll make a compromise. Since this one is so short, I'll post both together, as chapters in their own rights. How's that? =)

But you can still review both! =) =)

~Ola~


	18. part 18 the glittering caves

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

Part 18~ The glittering caves

"Last one before lunch break."

"Uh heu."

Neither sounded very enthusiastic. They had been exploring caves half the morning, spending the other half looking for them, which wasn't all that hard since this region was covered by them. Most of the ones they had pocked their heads into were mere shallow depressions in rock faces and not real caves per say. Deep enough for ten people to escape from the rain; and when they became short tunnels from time to time, they were mostly straight or a little curvy, and light always reached the back wall, although sometimes few of it was left to see by.

_And what exactly are we doing this? To look for immigrants who hide in them from the border guards! Yep, that was the captain's idea. Don't ask me. What are we supposed to get out of this "training"? Fieldwork and teamwork he said! Pfua! I would say pneumonia._

 It was one of those perfect autumn mornings. Sunny, cold and crispy. Leaves in their most vibrant colors, ranging from yellow-green to dark red, almost points of light themselves. But nature's beauty was wasted on those two people at the present time. At dawn, they had set off with smiles, eyes aglow, but boredom and monotony had quickly set in with no one to talk to, and nothing to look forward to but more caves. Actually, there had been plenty of occasions to talk, and on several occasions, both young people had been on the verge of saying something before remembering their ongoing quarrel and shutting up in their shell of proudness and stupidity. Thus, what could have been relatively easy was turning out infuriatingly frustrating and at the same time horribly monotonous. But it was the last cave.

As soon as they stepped inside, they knew it was much more extensive than the previous ones. A cold draft came to caress their ankles while an odor of mustiness, of humid and dark places where neither light nor fresh air were known assailed their nostrils. The mouth of the cave was a few inches taller than Sindarin; it was also strangely symmetrical. The path went straight as far as they could see, only slightly dipping into the ground, but the light of day did not reach more than a hundred feet into the tunnel. Farther away, there was only the true darkness of the undergrounds.

The young man looked at his partner, relieved that she could not easily distinguish his face and the emotions it held, too busy rummaging in her pack. Suddenly, light flared from a piece of burning oiled cloth. Shadows jumped back, a bubble of orange light surrounded the two travelers in a semblance of safety, although it did not seem to penetrate the secrets held by the dark. Lanea shrugged and moved off; Sindarin quickly followed, keeping himself in the light; only once glancing over his shoulder at the retreating circle of white light. Before long, they came to a split. Before them were two tunnels with equal size and the same smooth floor.

"This cave is man made...or made by something else, but not nature."

"Do we split up?"

"It seems to be abandoned." Lanea's stomach growled, echoing loudly in the silence.

"It will take less time, and we will cover more ground." Another torch flared; Lanea got two more out and gave one to Sindarin. "When the first one goes out, we come back and wait for each other here. Which one do you want? Left or right?"

"I'll take the left; I'll go left at every intersection. You take all the right ones. We shouldn't loose ourselves that way. Hopefully." 

Lanea frowned, then quickly disappeared into the hole. A few steps later, she began regretting her choice. Alone, she was much more aware of the heavy silence and the way the shadows danced on the walls. The outside world seemed to be separated from her by space and time. _As if I was the only one down here. Trapped for eternity. She shuddered.__ But alone is good. I don't wanna met anyone…or anything. Stop. Don't think about meeting…stuff. Don't look at the shadows, don't imagine noises in the dark. Gasp!__ What was that? She stopped, holding her breath. Yes, she was right. Far away, she heard the trickle of water echoing with a hollow, sharp sound. __Water? A river? She concentrated on the noise, not knowing whether it was putting her into a trance or half scaring her to death. _

What she _knew scared the heck out of her was the first split in the road. The dark opening to her right had appeared so suddenly that she had taken it for some creature about to jump on her, and she had almost dropped her torch. __No no no no no! Don't drop torch, don't drop torch. Don't want to look for flint and second torch in the dark, while anything can jump on me. Don't think about jumping! Think about…the trees outside. Yes, the trees. Her heart calmed down and did not skip a beat at the next intersections. __Always to the right. The trickling was now much closer, and she could distinctly hear each drop hitting the water. Ploink…ploink…and reverberating all around her...and inside her too. She stopped again for a moment, listening to the liquid symphony. She began distinguishing a pattern in the drops. The slow, heavy ploink, and a faster, more crystalline plink. She imagined a vast chamber filled with a dark lake, with stalagmites and stalactites, the two meeting in places into white columns of limestone or salt…The circles of the drops, dancing waves on the otherwise smooth surface of the icy lake, the vaulted ceiling of the chamber lost in darkness, some unknown hundreds of feet above._

At the next intersection, she clearly heard the sound coming from the left. _Damn. For a moment, she wondered where she was now, relative to the entrance.__ Lower? Higher up? If I always took the right passages, I could be exactly under it, having made a circle. Mmm, wonder if my path would actually meet with Sindarin's or if we are going in totally opposite  directions. She looked at both passages carefully.__ Maybe I'll take the left one and go only as far as the next intersection than come back and continue with all the right ones? It's not as if I'm looking for anything specific, and that silence is unnerving. Makes me wonder whether I've become deaf. And I wonder if it really is a lake…or a puddle. She smiled.__ There's no harm in going down just a little._

~*~*~

A/N~ oh, girl, you can't possibly know….

And that's coming in the next chapter…some time soon, hopefully =)

Meanwhile, please review! 

~Ola~


	19. part 19

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ oh oh….

~*~*~

Part 19~

"Aaaahhhh!!" The scream echoed all around her and chilled her like the screech of metal on glass. She crunched her head in her shoulders and squeezed her eyes reflexively; her heart stopped and her hands tightened painfully on the torch, as one thought stood out in her mind. _Sindarin__! Except that the scream had come from in front of her, not behind. __Maybe the tunnels do connect and we are only a few hundreds of yards apart…But what if it's just an echo? Can't take the risk. Her mind was a jumble of half coherent thoughts as she tried to remember her way back. Had she just stepped into the left passage? __No, I don't think so. Another scream cut through the air, all the more blood chilling because of the surrounding silence that followed it. A whimper escaped Lanea's lips. __Quick!__ All the right tunnels. No no! The left now, the left! _

She ran. How many had she passed on her way down? What if she missed one in her hurry and lost herself in this deadly maze? _No! ALL the left ones…She gasped for breath, her eyes roving the walls, searching for the next split in the tunnel, and the next...and the next. __God, Sindarin…_

It seemed years before she finally saw the far away circular glow of sunlight, and the second branch of the tunnel, the one Sindarin had taken, now on her right. She took it without thought, without slowing down. _Still all the left ones…all the left. This part of the cave was less musty and the walls did not glisten with dissolved minerals and water droplets. They were rather dusty and dry as Lan pressed her hand on them to keep from stumbling. __Where is he? Did I miss him? No! I couldn't! He's got to be somewhere in front!_

She was alerted of his presence by a dull scraping sound as she took another left turn. It ended in a cul-de-sac, and there he was, his back turned toward her, his torch lying in the dust, extinguished. _For how long? How long has he been in the dark? What happened? She took a few steps toward him._

"Sindarin?" Two more steps. A glance at the wall from behind his shoulder. A gasp. A grab at his shirtsleeve.

"Sindarin! Stop it!" He pushed her back and she stumbled, falling on her back, with trouble keeping the torch from going out. He only glanced at her. With haunted eyes that did not see. And went back to scrapping the tunnel wall with his fingers. The torch propped against a pile of debris, out of danger, the girl came back to the tall figure, slipping in between him and the coarse wall. _Between the rock and the dark place,she remembered the saying, grinding her teeth in determination and fear, wondering if he would hurt her._

"Si! What's wrong with you! Stop it!" But he only moved a little to the side and continued digging his nails into the rock, dust settling on his arms and sleeves, while sweat covered his brow. He trembled from exertion. Lanea's vision blurred as hot tears of desperation and panic filled her eyes. She quickly blinked them away and dried the rest with dirty fingers. Again, she placed herself in front of him, in between his arms, using her own little ones to bring his head to her level and claim his lips with hers. Beyond her hope, he froze in place, and she heard nothing except the rapid pounding of her heart.

For a long moment, she wondered if he was still out of it, if he would go back to his crazy digging as soon as she let go of him, if her…His large hands found themselves behind her head and he kissed her back, coming to life like a flower after the rain…only to wilt back again, as he broke off, his head fell on her shoulder, his arms dropped to her back and he hugged her. She felt him shaken by silent sobs, while his heart beat loudly against her. Then everything calmed down, and the oppressive silence once again surrounded them.

"Let's get out of here." A whisper, but loud enough.

They walked back in silence. Outside, nothing had changed. It was as if they had been gone for a few minutes instead of the hours it felt like. They sat under a tree, a little way off from the entrance.

"All right. What happened down there? I heard you scream, so I ran up then back down your side, to find you scrapping the cave wall, with your fingers, in the dark." She looked at his stony face questioningly, but he wouldn't meet her eyes nor provide any explanation.

"Sindarin. Please. I'm sorry the way I've been acting those past few days, all right? I'm really worried. Si?" 

For a long moment, he looked off into the distance before bitterly saying: "I got scared okay? I'm claustrophobic. Is that a good enough answer?"

"You are claustrophobic…" she said that word slowly, as if testing its trustfulness "…and you went into a cave…all by yourself." He gifted her with a _look, although maybe it would have been better if he hadn't._

"Maybe life would be easier around you if you didn't act like a macho all the time, you know? I'm hungry. Let's eat." The girl unloaded all her anger on the wrappings of her sandwich, until she noticed that Sindarin was gingerly rubbing one of his palms.

"What's wrong?" she asked, mid-bite.

"Nothing." She caught his hand before he could hide it behind his back, and was surprised by his hiss of pain, until she turned his hand palm up and noticed the fingertips and the cushions of his palms scratched to raw flesh; not much skin was left among the dirt that clung to his hands. 

"Nothing!?" She almost choked on her bite before swallowing it with difficulty. "That's nothing? Jeez, Si! It's a wonder you can bend your fingers! Come. We've got to find water." She walked off to the north, choosing a random direction, while he went the opposite way.

 "This way." She raised en eyebrow, but followed him without comment. Sure enough, they soon reached a little stream with clear, running water. Lanea's eyebrows rose even higher if possible.

"How did you know it was here?"

"I've been in those parts before."

"Ah" she said, as if that was answer enough, while curiosity gnawed at her heart.

Sindarin plunged both hands into the shallow water. A curse escaped him and he squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, Lanea had stepped across the stream and was now crouching opposite him on the other side, with pity in her eyes. The young man clenched his teeth and moved his hands in the cool liquid, determined not to look like a pussy. _Yea, better look like the macho guy she said you are? Said a little voice in his head, but he didn't want to pay attention to it. His father had not overlooked his sons' upbringing. Even if he __had forgotten love and affection as one of his fatherly duties, he had made sure that all three of his sons were true men, in every sense of the word._

"Need some help with that?"

"What? Err, no." He realized he had stopped moving his hands. He took them out and closely inspected the wounded pads. Dirt still clung to the raw flesh, especially on the sides, where it had gotten under the flaps of skin. He thrust them back into the cool fluid. The coolness spread to his fingers, and the pain ebbed away. But there was a drawback to the pleasant numbness: ha had a lot less control over the nimbleness of his fingers, and it made it all the harder getting the dirt out. But he couldn't think of doing it any other way.

_Ha. Father would be damn unpleased at finding his youngest son such a wimp. But I really don't care. He's not here. And even if he was, I'm not about to try to pick the dirt out while I have any feeling left in my hands. I kind of don't feel like squirming from pain, even i… his train of thoughts was interrupted by what he thought was a touch. His suspicions were proven correct when he opened his eyes. He glanced at Lan, then at her hands, holding his, but didn't comment. She kept looking down, not meeting his eyes, while carefully tending to his right palm. _

"You should take those off, there's a ton of dirt under them," she motioned to his wrist guards, looking for a way to untie them.

"NO!" He hadn't meant to shout it at her, not retreat his hand like that, but it was a reflex he had acquired over years and it was hard to get rid of it. "I'm sorry. But it's better not to take them off."

She didn't say anything, and continued her calm ministrations vigilantly. After she was done, she starred at his hand for a long time before bringing it up and planting a gentle kiss right in the middle. A shiver went through him.

"Did it hurt?"

"No." _No. your kiss would never hurt, unless it was one of departure. Then you might as well shoot me, for it would hurt the same._

She kept her eyes down and busied herself with his other hand. When she was inspecting it in its turn, he took hold of her wrist.

"Lan?" A quick glance before her eyes once again went back to roaming the depths of the little stream. "I want to show you something."

~*~*~

A/N~ Wow, how's that for a long chapter? Yea, I know, can't be compared to some of the fics of other authors, but well, compared to MY other ones, I think it's pretty long. Isn't it worth of a little review? Eh? =) 

~Ola~

_____________________

-Sweetie pie- hope you don't have arthritis…cause you're definitely right, here =)

-little mermaid- lan didn't have anything better to tell him (ran out of ideas I guess, poor girl ;P) , and he just wanted a reason to kiss her, so he did, which WOULD make him seem like he was gay, but he really doesn't care…if that makes sense…

oh, and thanks for that error thing, although *looks sheepish* I don't remember where it is, and I'm a bit busy *cough cough*lazy*cough cough* right now… =)

And thanks so much everyone who reviewed!! I really appreciate it! Makes me grin like a stupid idiot, and _that_ makes people stare at me, probably thinking I'm a bit deranged, but what the heck, I love it!!!! Yeay!!!

Ok, got to go now…and will post the next one soon…hopefully, with Sindarin's surprise. (might have to up the rating a bit thought, but don't know, so there's going to be a little spoiler at the beginning, about the rating, and why…so skip the first author's note if you still want the surprise…althought there's still a bigger one at the end….

Wow, ok, I'll really go now!

~Ola~


	20. part 20 getting to know each other

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ warning: this chapter contains some sexual description. Nothing too detailed or gross. It's supposed to be sensual. Let me know if you think I should change the rating of this story though, ok? Oh, and I hope this hasn't spoiled the surprise for you, cause there's a big one coming =) so enjoy! IF YOU WANT TO SKIP THIS PART, READ THE LAST LINE!!! (comments about reviews at the end =)

~*~*~

Part 20~

The girl picked up her pack and followed him to the East, over a little hill, and past a copse of evergreens that stuck out from the over wise orange foliage. From time to time, he glanced back over his shoulder to make sure she was following. After another rough climb, they came to what looked like one gigantic rock in the form of a ring. The walls were as tall as the trees, and green lichens were growing on them, but except for a cute little salamander that scampered away as they approached, Lan didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Sindarin mumbled something then went off to the right and disappeared behind the outcropping. But he soon came back and went the other way.

"Aha! Lan, I found it!" 

He was halfway in a crack in the rock face and she could see that it extended farther in, but it was not immediately visible at first inspection. Actually, she doubt she would have seen it if she hadn't been looking for it. She briefly wondered whether this was yet another cave and if yes, then how had Sindarin discovered it and why was he leading her there if he was so afraid of them. But no cold and musty draft came to meet her nose. She followed him inside, squeezing into the crack as it wound its way through the rock. Out of the sun, the temperature dropped noticeably, and the rock became quite cold to the touch.

"Close your eyes."

"What? And bang my head on the first step? I know you don't always like me. Especially _those times, but please find another way to annoy me."_

"Don't worry. I'll lead you. Close your eyes or you'll spoil the surprise." She looked at him suspiciously.

"Come on. Don't tell me you don't trust me." She grumbled but did as he asked and felt one of his hands covering her eyes, while the other snaked around her waist, holding her firmly.

"I trust you with my life here, and _you can't trust __me to keep my eyes closed? Trust is a two way deal you know?"_

"I agree, but if I let go and you stumble, you'll open your eyes anyway. It's a reflex." He slowly led her forward.

A little while later, she felt the sun shine on her face again. The air got a little warmer, and it acquired a distinct smell that tickled her memory but that she could not quite identify; she also felt tall grass swish lightly against her knees.

"Are we there yet?"

"Just a little longer." He sounded very please of himself for some reason. He turned her around, then let her go. "All right, you can open them now."

She did and her mouth dropped open. She was standing in the middle of a meadow full of little bright orange flowers that swayed gently in the occasional breeze. The air was fresh and sweet, a cross between lavender, apple blossoms and oranges. The knee-high carpet of orange blooms extended from one end of this little valley to the other, and was completely surrounded by the high rock walls. However, it was not oppressive, rather, it felt cozy and…like a piece of paradise. Above, the sky seemed bluer.

Lanea turned around, letting her eyes capture the sheer beauty of this little piece of heaven, for a moment forgetting everything except this feeling of happiness; this joy at being able to see nature uncover its secrets for her.

"So?"

She turned back to Sindarin, her eyes aglow. "How did you find this place!?"

"Quite by accident. Do you want the short or the long story?"

"We've got plenty of time. Or maybe you want to go back exploring the caves, like we're supposed to?" she teased.

He rolled his eyes, sat down comfortably and began his tale. "When I was younger, my family used to come to those parts to hunt. I was too small to accompany my father and brothers into the woods and was supposed to stay…home, but what kind of seven years old can stay cooped up in such a beautiful day? So I too went into the forest, without anyone knowing, and played at being an explorer of wild lands; until one day, I happened to cross the path of my father's hunting trip. It was a little later in the year, and all the leaves had fallen. The terrain was bare and I had no where to hide. Of course, if my father found me, he would have thrashed me as if there was no tomorrow. I happened to like my skin just the way it was and din't want it at the mercy of my father's belt. So I ran. I ran as fast as I could, stupidly trying to outrun the dogs and horses, until I saw the rocks and hid behind them. Fortunately, no one had seen me, and the dogs had been to focused on the scent of the pray to pay attention to mine. It was only a few days later that I had came back and like every curious little boy began exploring the "fort." When I found out a way in and the teasure it held, I came as often as I could. Those flowers only bloom in autumn, and so for the first year, I didn't even know about them. Imagine my surprise when I came here after a long absence. Ha. I thought I had come into a different world…I've never told anyone about this place, and sometimes, I wonder whether anyone else knows about it, but I've never found any footsteps here except my own." He sighed and let his gaze roam over the valley.

"I'm happy you let me join you in this little kingdom of yours." She sat down by his side.

_Sigh. You have no idea how true your words really are, thought Sindarin, looking into her shiny eyes, just as she did into his. He had never before how like the bottom of a river those eyes of hers were. Blue, green, gray, and little dots of brown, like stones submerged in the swift current; their color changed just like that of water, and he was drawn into them like someone diving into a deep pool whose bottom he could not reach, and thus dove deeper and deeper into the clear depths. _

Their lips met for a second in a caress much like the one of two butterfly wings. They continued looking at each other as if memorizing every little detail, every freckle, every strand of hair. The butterflies fluttered in the air and once again brushed their wings together, until Lan, trying to move a little closer, lost her balance and crashed into Sindarin, bringing them both down onto the mat of sweet scented leaves and flowers. Her giggle was drowned by yet another kiss, this time much more powerful and heady, while her hands began their own little exploration under Sindarin's shirt. Lying against him, every part of her touching some part of him' she felt like she was lying on a rock, warmed by a day's worth of summer sun, except that he was a lot softer, and much more responsive. And his hands were busy on their own, caressing her back, and holding her tightly to him, wanting to remember the feeling of her body forever. There was no end to their love, but soon, everything that was to be discovered in that minimal range was done, and both of them wondered what to do next, or if they should do anything at all. Sindarin fingered the lacings of Lan's shirt while looking at her in a silent question. She only smiled, but he understood, and smiled back. 

Trying to tug each other's shirt at the same time, while lying down wasn't as easy as they had expected; after a moment of trial they had to sit up. It went a lot faster that way, up until the cloth that covered Lan's breast. Sindarin simply didn't know where to begin. _Snort. Guys will always be guys. Lots of muscles but nada under the ceiling, thought Lan in between two bouts of laughter at seeing her friend's discomfit face._

"you look like a little boy that had been denied his birthday present."

"Well, I got the present. I just don't know how to unwrap it!" he grinned.

The "present" didn't need to be asked a second time. For a moment afterwards, they looked at each other like curious little children, awed and mightily interested in what they were seeing, until a cold breeze ruffled their hair, and they embraced each other to keep warm, lying back down, where the tall flowers blocked some of the windy element. With his hands safely behind Lan's back, Sindarin took off his wrist guards.

With new territory just waiting to be explored, they jumped to the pleasant task, a permanent little smile on their lips. Lan traced a line down Sindarin's chest with her finger, while his mouth followed a path of its own down her neck and throat. He loved breathing in her smell; she smelled of the outdoors, of wool, and of her own spicy, young, sweet smell that he would never forget. Their legs entangled themselves of their own accord, keeping them close, but not so close that they could not move their hands in between their chests. There were new grounds to be discovered there, grounds on which the young man treaded carefully, gently gliding his hands around the girl's perfect round breasts, delighting in the shivers of pleasure it elicited from her and the way her beautiful eyes sparkled with joy, mischievousness and…

…Shock? That last had not completely registered when he felt her grab his hand, turning it palm up. He let her do it, knowing what was about to happen, knowing it was inevitable now, and deep down, feeling relieved it would soon be over. Her eyes never left his after the glance she had given the black mark on his wrist. Her gray-green, gray-blue eyes. Eyes like the bottom of a mountain stream.

"Who are you to wear the sign of Atar?" a whisper. Her eyes, betrayed, narrowed in suspicion.

"And who are you to know it for what it is?" no louder.

"I have kept no secrets from you. You know…what I am. And yet, you have not been truthful with me."  It hurt. It hurt him hear her say that, but he knew that she was right. He looked into her eyes, her gray, gray eyes, for a long time. Wishing to hold her close, wishing to stop the pain. But there was only one way out of this.

"I am Prince Kelleheri Sindarin Mawr Dae Vaugh, third son of Bae Tarallan Thor Dae Vaugh, nephew of her majesty the Queen Seleney."

~*~*~

A/N~ mmm, quite long, don't you think? =) couldn't find any good part at which to stop it. *grins* if you want the next part, don't kill me for stopping here, ok? =) take heart, the next chapter won't be long in coming (hopefully=) 

~Ola~

_______________________

-Aurora & Sweetie pie- yep! Those wrist bands were important =) *grins* was that what you were thinking, or something completely else? Lol

-falcon-rider- lol, what did you think he was going to show her? Lol, well, actually, you could interpret it in different ways, although he did want to show her the valley, not the…action =) *grin*


	21. part 21

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ warning: same as for precedent chapter. Sorry that it took a bit long to update, but yesterday I spent the whole day watching the extended lord of the rings dvd, with all the extra behind the scene stuff *can't tell I'm addicted yet?* and today I had to do lots of running around (yep, school starts again Wednesday-lots of books to buy and stuff to do). I know, I know, no reasons are good enough, and this is not a very long chapter. Again sorry. Hope you enjoy. =)

~*~*~

Part 21~

He saw the girl's eyes get bigger and rounder as he enumerated each name, and felt her slightly move away from him, but he had _not_ expected her comment: "that's a damn lots of names to go through at every greeting."

"Does my background change anything?"

"Of course it does! If something happens to you, I'll be the first one suspected, or if we fight, I'll be hanging faster than I could say your name Si… Kel…whatever. You won't be smiling after I tell you what _my _name is." His grin got quite a bit smaller and a lot more uncertain at her words. 

"I am Micolanea Seraleen, of the house of the Sephardi." His face fell, and for a fraction of a second, she could clearly see a battle etched on it. Then he began to cry. No. he had tears in his eyes, yes, but brought by his hysterical laughing. The girl glared, shocked and quite a bit angry, looking at his hands holding his bare sides, very conscious of her own semi-nakedness.

"What's so funny?" she hissed.

"N…nothing." He could barely say, whipping his eyes. "It's just that…I never…in all my life…imagined…this could happen…to me. My father's gonna kill me…the second he finds out."

"Stop it! Stop laughing like that!" her eyes filled with tears and Sindarin stopped, as quickly as if he had suddenly lost the use of his voice. He became serious, looking in her eyes. her dark gray eyes, like stormy clouds, full of rain.

"Lan. I'm so sorry. I mean t to tell you." The clouds broke, and so did Sindarin's heart. "Lan, nothing of this matters. I don't care about your family, I don't care about my father. All I care about is you. I never meant to hurt you, but I thought it would be better if you didn't know. I joined the guard to escape being a prince, so you understand why I didn't want anyone knowing who I was. And I didn't want you to like me only for my titles. Lan, are you listening to me?" the girl had sat up with her knees drawn to her chest, her arms around her legs, and her head down. "This is not how it was supposed to be!"

"And how was it supposed to be?" a whisper, barely audible.

The flower stalks rustled, and she felt his cool fingers gently raise her chin, then his lips caress hers. Slowly. Hesitantly. With a contained passion and truth hidden in their depths.

"Like this."

"Her arms unwound from their original position to admit the young man into their circle. They lay back down in each other's arms, for a long time lying still except for the occasional caress, while they pursued their thoughts. But they had left something unfinished. Like ambers glowing under a pile of ashes, unextinguished. A flame flickered through, then another one, and another. Uncertain smiles, kisses, tender touches came back, to be replaced by laughs and mischievous twinkles in their eyes as confidence was restored to its previous level, and then beyond it. Sindarin drew her over him, so that once again their whole bodies were touching.

"Lan, I have something to tell you, but promise you won't laugh."

"I promise."

"I've never done this before…I've never been with a girl…like that…you promised not to laugh!"

"I'm sorry Si. It's just that neither have i. with a guy I mean." Chuckle.

"Well, at least you won't be able to say I'm awfully bad at it. You have no way of comparing. So I can do whatever I want." Mischievous smile.

"Oh, yeah? And what will you do after that?" Lan slipped her little hands into the back of Sidarin's pants and squeezed his buttocks. 

"Lan!" the girl laughed in delight at the unmanly squeal he made and the way his whole body tensed.

"Mmmm, as smooth as a baby's."

"I bet yours' even nicer." Crooked grin.

"But you don't know."

"Is that an invitation?" the girl smiled. Sindarin didn't need to be asked twice. A few moments of laughing and squirming ensued, as areas of tickliness were discovered. When they tired of that too, Lanea unbuttoned Sindarin's pants and began taking them off, while he lay calmly, with a smile on his face, watching her vain efforts, until she blew a strand of annoying hair that kept dropping in front of her eyes. the pants wouldn't budge. So he helped her out, slightly raising his mid-section (and Lanea too since she was still lying on top of him) to allow her to slip the offending garment off.

"Aha!" cry of victory.

Another pair of pants briefly experienced the joy of flight before rejoining all the other pieces of clothing, including the shoes, discarded a while back. Silence descended on the little valley. Their cheeks colored from the cold wind, from the exertion, or from both. Before, it had all been a game, but now, now it couldn't be anymore. They hugged to keep warm and to stop the feeling that said it was shameful to look.

"Lan…do you want to do it?...are you ready?" those words brought a memory. _Buggle__, big brother, I wonder where you are. Thanks for not letting me do it back then._ She glanced at her forearm and smiled; despite the cold wind, she had no goosebumps. Then she looked into the young man's eyes, his warm, brown eyes. "I love you Sindarin."

"I love you too." Smile.

"And to answer your first question: yes. And I'm glad I've never done it with anyone before you."

"Oh Lan…" they kissed, and caressed, and made gentle love, without previous experience, but with many deep feelings. They forgot about time, they forgot about the world; they only knew each other and the present. Bliss and paradise. Love. It was a lot more than older people made it out to be, and a lot different than the minstrels sang about. It was this thing of their own, made of two pieces that fitted perfectly into one being. it was what they had imagined Heaven to feel like; calm, beautiful, and all encompassing. It w…

A chocked scream filled the little valley.

"Oh my god. Lan. I'm so sorry love. Lan? You're all right? Say something!"

_Fire. Pain. Fire. Hurt. Smell of flowers. Fire._

__

"I'm okay" she whispered between gritted teeth, relaxing her hand and looking at the five little red marks where she had dug her finger nails in his shoulder, wondering if it hurt as much as she did.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Lan. I'm so sorry."

"Of course you did."

"Lan. Please. Forgive me. I didn't know it would hurt that much."

"Neither did I." sort of grin, "but I think it happens sometimes, the first time. And it won't hurt now."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I still love you, silly prince." Grin.

And although it _did_ hurt for some time still, Lanea didn't say anything, but she couldn't suppress a few whimpers from escaping, which later turned into little moans. Sindarin didn't keep absolutely quiet either, but half of it was drowned by deep, longing kisses.

Unfortunately, everything is bound to end, and so did their sensual love making, even if it was because they ran out of strength rather than because of a lack of interest or passion. They simply lay in each other's arms, warm and tingly all over, covered by one of their cloak that Sindarin had drawn over them.

No words were necessary. Their eyes told a long enough story.

~*~*~

A/N~ so? Eh? =) what did you think? Mmm, not much in the advancement of the plot, but well, I think that was necessary.

_____________

-saphie- I love your reviews! They always give me so much will to write the next part as quick as I can. Thanks!!

-shelby, I hope you will like the rest of the story as well!!

-Leopardance- who is that you want to poleaxe? Sindarin? Or me for stopping to quickly/or still writing this damn story? *grins* lol. 

-saphie- hey, too reviews, no wait three !! for the same chapter! Wow, I guess you really like the story. I'm honored! =)

-falcon-rider- I was just kidding. Lol =) hope you'll keep on reading, even though this chapter might not have been much too your taste then. No more muchyness in the next few chapters!!! (or not as much anyway, I promises =)

aha! I tricked you all! No, it wasn't scars he had =) lol, although a tattoo is a kind of scar I guess. Oh well, I'm happy you like the twisted way this story is errr, twisting around =)

thanks so much for your reviews! 


	22. part 22 rude awakenings?

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ sorry for the shortness of this chapter. I don't really have an excuse for it. I just happened to end it here =)

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I love you guys! As always, I hope you are enjoying this story, (and I hope you'll keep reading it!). I have a rather set plan for this fic already (yea yea, I do know the ending right now. Lol =) but nope, I won't tell. Yet =) and I plan on writing a sequel, but I haven't written anything about it yet, although I do have some idea as to what will happen. Ok, I'll stop now and let you read, if you haven't skipped this part already!

~*~*~

Part 22~

For a moment, Lan didn't know where she was or why she had awoken, until another chilly breeze caressed her body. _Way too cold._ She shivered, looking down at herself, realizing exactly _why_ it was that cold. _Silly girl, it's not the season to be dressed that way. _Grin. _It's NEVER the season to be so…undressed._ A long look at the young man lying next to her, still in the land of dreams. _Although for him, any season is warm enough._ The girl's face clouded for a moment at the thought that they only had three more seasons to share together before they would part ways. _Not even three FULL seasons; more like two and a little. _Sigh._ Better make the best of it. _

She shivered again and looked at the sky with a start, only now realizing that this day was drawing to its end, and that they should be getting back to camp before someone began looking for them!

"Wake up sleeping beauty" a kiss accompanied the saying, which produced the same results it had for the other beauty, the one that had slept for a much longer period of time. The young man kissed the girl back, a joyful glimmer in his eyes.

"Good morning love."

"Morning!" laugh. "Are you sure you didn't hurt your head in that cave?" she smoothed his hair back, until he suddenly sat up in alarm, looking widely around him, and in the process throwing off the cloak that had covered the pair.

"Aii!" Lan glued herself to his chest, tugging the cloak back up around them. Sindarin's eyes finally landed on Lan, and a smile beamed on his face, followed by yet another long kiss, then a sigh.

"Do we really have to go _now_?"

"Uh hum"

"I wish I could stay with you like this forever"

"So would I …love" it was a word that still tasted strange, and it made both of them smile sheepishly. 

"Okay, we drop the blanket at the count of three."

"One"

"One and a half"

"Two"

"Two and a third"

"Two and a half"

"Two and three quarters"

"THREE!!!!!"

They rushed to the pile of clothes with a yell, and quite a few curses, as cold cloth touched fast cooling skin. They dressed in record time, and with a last good look at the place that had become so special to them both, they left the little valley, each of them picking a flower and tucking it into their breast pocket. They began walking at a fast pace, each lost in his own thoughts, until the sun's orange disk, no more than a hand span above the next hill, shone right into their eyes.

And then they ran…

…For quite a long time…

…And arrived breathless, hot, and beet red from the exertion. Which Lan very quickly realized, was quite a blessing. As the whole camp watched the late comers, the girl felt as if the fact that she had lost her virginity was branded on her forehead for everyone to see. She could not meet anyone's eyes, and all she wanted was to be left alone. But the captain was waiting for their report of the caves. _God, that__ seems such a long time ago…_Fortunately, after a quick glance at her, Sindarin did all the talking; a very _brief_ talking. _Thank God!_ And they finally were allowed to go, which they did with quite some speed, heading for their tent, high strung and on their guards. 

Neither of them slept much that night, to say the least, and not because of a repeat of what had happened in the valley. They were surrounded by the other guard trainees, and in an open tent at that. Any little noise, however inconspicuous, would be heard by all, so they had to satisfy themselves with holding hands under the blankets. Both of them were thinking of what they had done, as images danced behind their eyelids. _What will we do now? Will…will he still love me tomorrow? Will it ever get easier? This hiding and lying?..._ sigh. _And what is he thinking about now?_ Lan turned her head toward Sindarin's shape, faintly outlined by the distant glow of the camp fire. Unbeknownst to her, the same thoughts flitted through his head, while the hand that was not clasping hers lay on his breast pocket, feeling the soft outlines of a little orange flower.

~*~*~

In the next several days, the company made its way farther south. They were now at the level of Haven, traveling on a line perpendicular to the border of Iftel, three days' walk away, to the East. The ground progressively became rockier and it rose in what could no longer be called hills. No, those were mountains. Not overly tall yet, but higher peaks majestically rose on the horizon, hazy with distance and fog. Many lakes still dotted the region, although now, the guard trainees mostly used mountain streams as their main source of water. 

And during all that time, Lan and Sindarin had to content themselves with quick kisses stolen in the darkness of the night or lingering touches when handing something over. Only once did they get a respite, while camping on a slanting hillside. During the night, they had both rolled out of under the tent, and came to rest under a tree, squashed into each other. That morning was the only one in which they had awakened in each other's arms, a broad smile on their face. And they had not been the only ones, although everyone else was much less thrilled to wake up face to face with their partners.

And life went on. They continued practicing archery, sparing, and waling, always walking, until they stood at the height of a pass, nested in between two mountains sharply jutting into the sky. From their vantage point, they saw a silver ribbon meandering in between little hills covered with bare trees, and half a day's march away, a little hamlet with gray houses, a gray dusty road, and thin plums of gray smoke rising straight into the air. It was hard to name anything that _wasn't_ gray, but everyone was way too happy to have reached someplace civilized to complain. The captain did not disappoint anyone when he alleged that their next set of tasks and lessons would take place there.

With gray puffs of steam coming out of the trainees' mouth and nostrils, the company started down into the valley.

Up close, there was mot much more color. The few people that walked about in the late evening were dressed mostly in earthy browns, greens, and of course grays, colors that did not show stains that easily and were easy to make into dyes. The company was all the more pleasantly surprised b the big fir roaring tamely in the inn the captain had chosen. Well, it was the _only_ inn in the town, but it more than made up for it by being twice the size of a usual, big, city inn.

"You have the afternoon off." Matejas rolled his eyes, while Dareel flashed his teeth and settled down in front of the counter, a big brown mug of ale already in hand. Outside, darkness had covered the region. "Afternoon" was definitely a little far fetched.

~*~*~

A/N~ Don't have much to say (I just got used to having to author's notes for some reason =) except review review!!!

~Ola~


	23. part 23 strange old lady

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ thank you for all who reviewed! =)

-Eri- oops…I did NOT realize it. =( but when you pointed that out, I was reading "Exile's honor" as yes, you are right, there too there were women guards…so I guess this does screw up my plot line. Oh, no, it doesn't! let's say it's in the reign of ANOTHER Selenay (and there WERE others. For one, selenay the peacemaker, and let's hope there were a few others more =). Or you can simply call it poetic license =) but thanks for pointing it out!

-trina ti- I think I already read something by her, although not this particular piece. I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the advice! =)

And now, on with the story =)

~*~*~

Part 23~

A nock at their door, then two men coming through, carrying a metal tub, and a third one two buckets of hot water.

"Thanks guys." One of them nodded. After they left, closing the door after them:

"Who's going in first?"

"Go ahead."

"You're sure?"

"Uh humm." Sindarin took off his clothes and sat in the tub, while Lan watched on with interest. The water barely reached his belly button.

"I can't believe we were lucky enough to get a room for us alone."

"Uh hum, but every group has one." Lan took her shoes off.

"I know, but the captain could have packed all of us in one room, and saved some cash for himself."

"I guess he likes us" cheesy smile.

The girl stood up and slowly raised her shirt, exposing a firm and smooth stomach. She untied the string of her pants, and they dropped onto her hipbones, revealing the top of her panties. Sindarin forgot about the soap that had slipped from his nerveless fingers into the water. With a delicate move, the pants slowly slipped all the way to the floor, followed a few breathes later by a long piece of cloth that had been used to bind the girl's breasts. A few more quickened breaths and she stood in front of the tub in all her glory, an impish smile stretching her lovely lips.

"God Lan, how do you do that? How do you manage to make me so happy and excited that I forget about the whole world and can see and think only of you?" he whispered with awe as the young woman stepped into the warm water, nestling herself comfortably against him.

"You're so beautiful…"

"So are you, my tall and handsome warrior." Giggle. 

"I can't believe I've been living and sleeping next to you for two months without realizing you were a woman." He gently caressed her hips.

"I thank whatever deity watches over us that no one did either."

"So you can have me all for yourself?" a grin. She didn't need to answer in words, but claimed his mouth with hers. A few seconds later, they were embracing each other so hard it hurt, but it never seemed hard enough; never close enough. This time, they didn't even ask; they didn't need to. They already knew.

Some water splashed overboard. Lan's knee slipped on the half dissolved soap and she banged her elbow against the side of the tub. Sindarin's legs were hanging over the rim, while soapy water splashed into his eyes. They didn't notice. Only, try as they may, they couldn't do it in the little tub. Without any decision or argument, they half-jumped, half-stumbled, half-carried each other to the first of the narrow little beds, their arms still around each other, their lips still locked together. Only then, glistening wet and stretched along their full length could they satisfy their passions and desires.

And they did.

Long into the night, with butterflies in their stomach, and tingles in their fingers.

~*~*~

"Today, ya will be matched with a guard of this town, and ya'll go on his rounds, observing what 'e does, and doing what 'e asks ya to. I do not want misbehavior. Of any kind. Ya are not little kids in need of a nanny, but mature human beings who know what's at stake." The Captain glared at each of the trainees under his commend, driving the point home. "Did I make myself clear?"

A chorus of "Yes sir!"

"Good. Mat, you go with Severil," he read off, while an older man somewhere near his fifties took a step forward. "Jek, you follow Meeko. Lan, go with Jack." Sindarin followed the blond man with his eyes, as the latter took his place beside Lan and the two started talking softly, while the captain went on. Only the mention of his name brought Sindarin out of his thoughts, and he was startled to realize he hadn't registered the name of his companion for the day. A broad shouldered man with a face as square as any Sindarin had ever seen came to stand next to him.

"Um, sorry, but I didn't quite get your name…"

The man slowly turned his eyes at him. "I am captain Drex. Pay attention youngling." He spoke slowly, and his voice vibrated deeply, reverberating in Sindarin's belly.

"Ah…" when he turned his attention to the inn's common room again, Lan had already walked out.

~*~*~

"There's usually not that much to do around here. Everyone knows each other so there's not much of anything we can call a crime, although there's plenty of disputes. If you had gone with Drex, or Severil, ah, those two could have told you about the time Shedlington was invaded by some northern barbaric tribe. Servil showed us the scar on his leg he got from a nasty stroke of the blade. Ugly thing. It still has a purple edge, although I don't reckon to know how a bruise could last that long."

"How long have you been a guard?" Lan managed to squeeze in when Jack stopped to take a breath.

"Ah, it's only my fourth year. where are you guys coming from? You seem to know each other pretty well."

"We're from Melin. Well, that's where we recruited at. I didn't know the others until about two, three months ago, but we spent the entire time together, so yeah, we all became great buddies."

"Oh." For the first time, Jack's smile faded a bit.

"Are you from around here?"

"What? Err, no. I'm from Haven."

"Haven? Wow, I've never been there before. What's it like? Why would you want to come here instead of Haven?"

"It's pretty big. I…I don't much like big cities…" he didn't elaborate, which was a first, since he seemed to always be talking. "We never got to travel mush. During our training I mean. There were twenty three of us, and most of the training we got was in Haven, so we got more of an urban training, which is neither good nor bad. Depends on where you end up later. It's really not that bad here. Haven is four day's fast run, if you have a good horse, and less for the heralds, so they come from time to time, to settle big things and such." He shrugged, and turned into a slightly smaller street lined with little square houses.

Actually, there was only one major road going through the center of the village, and four smaller and mush shorter ones, that dead ended in the fields. Jack pointed to an old, tattered house near the other end of the street, with rickety steps leading up to it. He started up again on one of his long speeches.

"The lady who lives there is a sorceress, as what people say. She has been living there all her life. The first thing she prophesized to the precedent major was that he would have kids again. Of course, everyone laughed because it was common knowledge that both the major and his wife were way too old for children. A few months later, his favorite dog bore him a litter of pups. No one knows if that's what the old lady had foretold. She won't say. Sometimes, she tells about the weather. The farmers saved their crops from bad rains more than once by listening to her. But other times, she mumbles and babbles nonsense to herself. The thing is, you never know if what she says applies to you, or if it's the truth, if you believe in those things."  

Lan wondered how old the house was. The walls were cracked, chipped by wind and weather, and creaked ominously as if dozen of invisible, ghostly feet padded on its wooden floors. Dark with age. And when she saw the bent figure sitting in a chair in front of an unlit fireplace, full of cold ashes, Lan wondered how old the _lady_ was. She…well, she looked very old, was the only thing Lan could think of. Until the woman slowly turned her eyes on the two youths. Those eyes did not seem to belong there. It's as if her body had grown old while her eyes had stayed the way they had looked in her early youth. Innocence and knowledge peacefully cohabited in those startlingly blue eyes.

"Good morning m'am Harris. It's Jack. The mayor sent me for your four pence. It's the sixth of the month." His voice, as well as the subject of his interruption, did not fit in with the wind that whistled through holes, nor the creaking of the house that seemed to give it an uncanny life. Neither did her name fit her. But when she answered, her voice was as old as her body.

"Always in the same place youngling. Second drawer on the right in the cabinet."

"How are you feeling?"

"Same as always. Same as the last time you came and the one before that…" something rattled in a drawer.

"Oh, this is Lan. She's from the company of guard trainees that came for a few days." Lan smiled and nodded it was true. But the old woman said:

"I know" with a strange smile of her own. "Come visit me with you other friend." Lan's eyebrow rose, and she glanced at Jack, who shrugged and continued searching the elusive fourth pence.

"Aha! Got it!"

"Good, now shoo, younglings." Her frail hand hovered above her lap for a moment before quickly falling back there again. "Oh, and little Jack, don't go getting yourself in trouble for that girl. She's already taken." Lan's head shot up to look at the old lady, then glance quickly at Jack, who didn't seem to understand what she was talking about.

_No, no, of course not.__ How can she know I'm a girl? And Jack isn't interested in me. I would know if he was. It's just a coincidence and I'm just too high strung. This can't be about me. How many girls live in this village? How many girls does Jack know? With his good looks, he probably bedded more than I can count on one hand. Yep, that's it. And here I am, giving myself an ulcer. Jeez, I really have to relax a bit. Silly me…_

As soon as they stepped out of the building, the wind once again labored to find any opening in their clothing into which it could insinuate itself, and flared their cloaks. _Brrr__. Time to head back._

"Hey, what was that all about? You have a girlfriend?"

"What? I…errr, …ummm" his eyes dropped to the ground.

"What…come on…I won't tell anyone. I probably don't know her and I'll be out of here in a few days. No time to start rumors, and even less time to steal her from you. Not that I would do that of course. I'm not that type of…guy."

"It's not that…it's…I…no…I don't have any girlfriend…I'm…errr….Iamshaych." his ears turned bright red. Well, even redder than they were because of the wind.

"Err, what?...What does that mean?"

"You don't know?!"

"Err, no? Should I? I come from way up there, you know? From the middle of nowhere, remember?"

"Oh. It means shayachern. Shaych for short. It's…it's when a guy likes a guy."

"Oh." She shrugged, a little amused at his embarrassment. He gave her a quick glance.

"You're…you're not…errr...I mean…you don't…find it weird?"

"Weird?" she burst out laughing, but quickly stopped when she saw he was hurt. "Sorry, didn't mean to laugh at you. But weird? No. it's just the way it is…and anyway, I don't think you get any choice in that, do you?"

A long silence before he said a barely audible "no." _Well, at least one subject can shut him up for a while. Poor guy though._

"Does everyone around here know, or is it a secret? I kind of don't want you to get mad at me if I let it slip and I'm not supposed to…"

He didn't look all too happy when he said it wouldn't matter anymore. "Yeah, everyone knows. Except your company I guess…and even that I'm not sure of." He heaved a sigh, looking crestfallen, as if remembering painful memories.

"Hey, cheer up. None of us are that bad. Actually, a few weeks ago, we…" and she began telling him the story about calling Sindarin gay. "I didn't mean it as an insult, really. I just ran out of things to say. But I guess he was in a good mood for a reason, even after I had called him names –go figure that out- and he grinned like an idiot and kissed me to prove he _was_ gay. He isn't, but nobody got violent toward him. Actually, they all laughed their head of. At me of course. You should go bug him about it. Either he'll be pissed at me for telling, or he'll be in a good mood, and go along with the game. You may actually get a kiss out of it, and don't tell me you wouldn't like that. He's kinda cute don't you think? Come on, let's go!" with a huge grin on her face, Lan dragged a feebly protesting Jack into the inn's common room.

~*~*~

A/N~ mmm, another long chapter eh? =) couldn't really cut it in the middle. But I guess you won't be complaining if you're still reading. I know I know, a bit of a cliffhanger here, but then, it would have been REALLY long. I have to keep up my image as a sadistic short chapter writer, ya know, *evil grin*…ok, err, ignore that =) and leave me a review please! I love them!!!!

~Ola~


	24. part 24

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ aii, sorry about taking so long to update! And thanks for all the reviews! Big hugs! =)

~*~*~

Part 24~

"Hey, where have you been?!"

"With Shedlington's captain. Don't ask." He slumped on a chair opposite Lan. "You look way too happy Lan. Where have _you_ coming from?"

"We went to see the prophetess. By the way, she asked you to come see her."

"Huh. What did she tell you?"

"That my friend Jack here, is gay." Sindarin gave the other guy a tired look.

"Lan. Drop it. The joke's getting old." He stood up and left.

"Ah. He takes all the fun out of life."

Without turning, he said: "I heard that!"

"You were meant to. And don't role your eyes at me!" 

"How do you know I…never mind." Sindarin heaved a sigh and turned the corner, going up to his room, while Lan and Jack stayed and talked into the night.

"Sorry pal. Don't know what's gotten into him." Jack shrugged noncommittally and they talked some more.

~*~*~

_Disputes? Minor disputes? That's what he called them? Jeez. I would say this is one of those bigger ones, so where's the herald when you need him? _Yawn. _Oh my god, this is so boring. Especially since I can't participate. And that's crap. How am I supposed to learn if I don't make mistakes of my own? Oh well. I only I could take a little nap, here, under that tree, while those two twerps over there finally decide who owns this piece of land. Piece of land? Pff…a foot wide. Can't they just divide it in two?_ Another sigh.

Lan closed her cloak more tightly against the chilly wind and sat on a nearby fence, closing her eyes to keep them from tearing and stinging. _Stupid wind. Stupid people. Why can't they discuss this inside, over a mug of cider? Ah, why ever did I choose to become a guard? Is that basically all they do? Listen to someone ramble on about nothing? Do you WANT the guards to do something else?_ Said a little voice in her head, as the image of a large man running behind her with a raised sword flashed before her eyes. She shuddered. _Mmm__, did that old lady really wanted to see me again? And Sindarin? Why? Did she have something…prophetic…to tell us? No way. Naaa…or else, she would have told me that when I first saw her if it was so important…maybe she just wants company. Maybe she's bored by everyone else because she knows them too well. Huh, poor lady, she…_

"Ahh!!" she almost jumped in surprise when someone touched her shoulder, but she forgot she was sitting on a rather precarious seat, and had to flail her arms around to keep her balance. She glared at Jack, who was obviously amused by it.

"Don't you ever do that again," she growled.

"Well, don't you ever stop paying attention then, trainee," he chided, his smile growing even bigger. "Come, we are done here." At Lan's obvious joy at hearing those news, Jack finally broke into a real laughter.

But the day wasn't NEARLY close to being done. When the girl finally entered the inn, the sun had gone down a while before. She slowly trudged up the stairs and fell into bed, and neither thought about nor wanted to go see the old lady. 

~*~*~

During the night, the wind had brought in a cover of dark clouds; it was still cold and windy, and now with the prospect of rain added to the mix, few people who didn't have to, went outside. Even children stayed inside, although that was probably more their mother's wish than theirs. In any case, there was also little work for the guards, and some time after noon, Lan finally found Sindarin, and paid the old lady the wished for visit. Nothing had changed in those two days. The wind was still strong and prickly, and the house looked even grayer, even older, without the sun.

"So you have decided to come." _Was that a question? Am I supposed to answer? Mmm, er…_ she just nodded, and introduced Sindarin, wondering what was going on in his mind. The lady's mouth quirked up in something that could be interpreted as her smile, then turned strangely sad, as if melancholy. She beckoned them closer, her frail hand like a skinny old bird, and softly said:

"You three should be very careful…"

"Errr, three?" Lan looked around for another person.

"Have you no ears girl?" the lady snapped. Lan's eyes became even bigger, and she glanced at Sindarin. He was as confused as her, and as unsure. They looked back at the lady, sitting in her large chair as if it was a distorted throne, when they heard her chuckle. "Yes yes, I know about you, and about you too." She pointed at Sindarin. "Whether I want to or not." After a long pause, she resumed "you cannot change the future, but you can make it easier to endure, so listen well. For you THREE, it will be hard. Very hard. Especially for the third. You young prince, are very headstrong. Do not let your mind rule your heart. Things are not always what they seem. Have hope and keep your promises. And you, young one, I can only tell you to remember. For what good it will do. Remember. Remember. And do not be afraid…" her voice dwindled; lost in the soft howl of the wind.

"What am I supposed to remember? A person? An event?...a particular time?"

"Remember. Remember." The soft voice was like the wind, here one moment, passing through their ears then gone elsewhere, leaving the house silent again. Lan did not feel comfortable. There was too much here she did not understand. She squeezed Sindarin's hand, and felt his strong warm response.

"Thank you for the advice, wise lady. We are much grateful for this information." He bowed respectfully and Lan clumsily followed his example. A little smile appeared on the lady's face; an echo of her youth and her happiness. 

"Go into the world younglings. It is yours to do with as you wish." Another delicate puff of morning air, gone in a heartbeat. The old lady seemed to grow smaller, to shrivel on herself, and to become nothing more than a very very old woman with glassy blue eyes starring at something only she could see, a sad smile on her papery, wrinkled face.

They left, ghostly "…remember…         …remember

                                                                                                …remember…"

following them as they descended the two flights of stairs, until a gust of strong wind tugged at them, and the words flew away, as light as feathers, invisible, insubstantial…only a memory.

~*~*~

A/N~ and now for some comments =)

-falcon rider- since the guards in Shedlington were all guides/mentors for Lan's group, they had to know about who the new ones were. Their captain told them. And for your second question: well, I don't know. I didn't ask him. =)

-the little mermaid- jealously eh? Lol. Dunno. Maybe? *grins*. Thanks! Sorry bout not posting earlier. (don't even have an excuse!)

-Eri- thanks. Keep on pretending then, cause I don't have the time to go back and change that part now *wink*

-jaded soul- "Elspeth" right. *taps her forehead with the heel of her palm* oops =) I never said I was good with names. Sigh. Hey, that's called poetic liscence =) (although I think I may be abusing it a bit here =). Thanks for dropping a review! =) and a long one at that! Mmm, chosen? Dunno *grins* you'll see =)

that was a wonderful explanation! Thanks! You're the best! I'll try to incorporate it somehow (can i?) or maybe go back and twitch the plot around a bit =)

-trina ti- it still has a bit ore chapters. And a sequel =) be afraid. Be very afraid =)

-maqdellin- welcome aboard! Sigh. Yep, Elspeth. Oh well =) I'm from the USA, cold, snowy Connecticut. =)


	25. part 25 Of dancing, beer and spinni...

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ I'm really sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Blame the exams and my encounter with the ambulance yesterday (nothing serious. Low blood pressure and hyperventilation. Yea, makes me feel like a stupid airhead in a corset =( so I spent half the day at the hospital, staring at the ceiling. Very boring, I can tell you this much.) Also, I TOLD myself never to write and post two fics at the same time! See where this gets me? I am beginning to run out of time. ok, on a brighter note, the other fic is almost ended, so I'll be back on this one with all my attention! =) all right, enough babbling. On with the story! 

~*~*~

Part 25~ Of dancing, beer…and spinning ceilings 

The next day, it finally began to dribble, getting heavier as the afternoon dragged on. In the evening, everyone who wanted to go out to find company settled in the only room big enough and accessible to everyone: the inn's common room. That was quite a lot of people. Two companies of guards –one from the town, the other being the trainees– merchants and farmers with spare pence for a drink, and many who didn't, but were there just to talk and have fun. Wine and ale flowed freely; while two or three times, someone bought for the whole house. Raucous laughter erupted from time to time from little groups all over the room. Some shouts rang out for a minstrel, but there wasn't any.

"Any one knows how to sing?" a few noncommittal nods and finger pointing, then someone on the other side of the room began a jaunty song. On the next couplet, more people who knew the words joined in, and in such a way began a night full of songs and beer. Tables were cleared, and some young people began dancing. A pretty girl with dark blond hair tied into a braid took Lan's hand and asked her for a dance.

"Ah, no no no no no… I don't dance" Lan waved her hands in front of her, while backing away on the bench, until she came up against Sindarin who shoved her on the dance floor with a huge grin.

"Now you do!", while thinking _it's pay back time! And you had better learn to dance. It's always good to know stuff._ She glared back at him until she was lost in the crowd. But then he moved to another place to be able to look at her. A few minutes later, an older woman asked him too, and they danced on next to Lan and the blond, Sindarin giving them the thumb up, and his partner laughing her head of.

Actually, Lan wasn't that bad at all; her body moved with grace and fluidity, it's just that she wasn't used to the role of the guy. _I wonder what it feels like dancing with her. I mean _real, close_ dancing. _Sigh._ Too bad I can't try it right now. But maybe later, when everyone gets too drunk to notice…_they stopped, ate, drank ale-quite a lot of that actually- and danced some more.

_Weee__… the ceiling is spinning! That's because that twerp is spinning you around her! _Lan stopped, but the ceiling kept on moving anyway. _Oh? mmm… _hick! _...'m thirsty…need some more of that drink…err…which table were we on already? That one? Arrg, stop moving! How am I supposed to sit down when the bench won't stop running from me?! _With her tongue sticking out, Lan made an attempt at catching the bench with her hands, but she ended up on her knees, a foot away. With a sigh, she shakily got up, and tried to pin the runaway bench by simply sitting on it…It didn't work either. she dropped on the floor quite painfully. _Ah, damn…think I had a little bit too much of that wine...but…it was so yummy…would like some more…ah! A mug! Yay! _She finally hoisted herself up on the bench…and made a face when not a single drop poured down her throat. _Pfua__!__ Empty! _She put the mug down. Or tried to. It crashed to the floor. With a little laugh, Lan said:

"Not my fault! 's the table. Keeps moving…" then her head dropped on the table. _At least _that_ didn't fall off…_ insane little laughter.

She felt someone shake her shoulder. "Hey Lan, wake up. Come on buddy."

"Leave me alone. 's nice here. Could I have more wine?"

"Oh no no no no no."

"Why not? I'm thirsty" she whined.

"How much of that wine did you have?"

"What…? Not even one full cup. I swear!" hic "I never saw the bottom of it anyway. That nice lady over there…" people scrambled away to keep from being hit by her wildly sweeping hand "kept on pouring me some." 

"Come on." Someone took her under the armpits and tried to raise her up to her feet.

"Leave me alone! Stop annoying me! I don't wanna go yet. Bugger off…bugger." And she collapsed in a pile of laughter. "Bugger?...bug?...got it?" an edge of hysteria entered her laugh, and the person talking to her raised an eyebrow.

Since no one laughed at her joke, Lan opened her bleary, bloodshot eyes, trying to focus them on something. Anything. She could see some vague brown shapes, all blurring into an indistinctive sea of gray-brown, except for one spot of orange. "Sindarin? Eh, orange…like a, like a…a mandarin! Sindarine, mandarin…" her shoulders shook in silent giggles, but this time she let herself be carried away, partly because she was too weak to struggle, and partly because she was too taken up with the new nickname.

She didn't hear when the person carrying her asked the barman if he would mind bringing a bucket of cold water to their room; but she found out soon enough. A muffled scream made its way from somewhere upstairs, to be quickly overpowered by the loud singing and talking downstairs.

~*~*~

A/N~ sorry for not making this chapter very long, but it was a good place to stop.

-L S Star- you'll see in a few chapters. *grins* it's a surprise, so I can't answer that without giving it away =)

-Falcon-rider- oh! OH! Oops. Nope, that was definitely NOT intended! =) my error. Jack does NOT know Lan is a girl. Will have to go back and change that *sheepish grin*

-magdellin- thanks *grins* 

-Eri- yes, that's what I meant. I guess I'll have to change that too, to make it less confusing =). Hysterical roommate eh? Lol. 


	26. part 26 confrontation

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ another chapter. Sorry for being so long in uploading. Again. (but I have 2 weeks of vacations coming up this Friday!!!)

Thanks so much to all you reviewers! (some comments at the bottom =)

And do continue pointing out the mistakes. I will go back and change them, or add some details to make some parts less confusing.

~*~*~

Part 26~ Confrontation

Lan slowly made her way downstairs, her hand against the rough wooden wall of the staircase. A step creaked, rather loudly in the morning silence. _Bah, everybody's either stoned, or hung over. Just as I am._ She made an unsteady, slightly weaving way toward the door. A tired "hey" sounded from her left.

"Hey Jack. What are you doing up? And here?" 

"I could ask you the same thing." Tired smile. He had to prop his head up.

"Well, I kind of _live_ here right now. And I'm going outside. Need some fresh air."

"It's a deluge out there!" at least he was a bit more awake now.

"Oh, really? Haven't noticed."

"You're gonna get soaked. That's actually why I stayed here for the night, to answer your first question. That, and the fact that as soon as I would have walked that door, I would have walked into either a wall, or a ditch."

A grin. "it's good you stayed then. Wouldn't want to have to pick up what's left of you with a spoon. But I'm still going." He narrowed his eyes and made a face.

"Why do you think I brought this?" she pointed to the heavy oiled cape that hung form her shoulders. "Because I liked the additional weight?" Jack stood up and walked toward her. "You're not going to stop me," she growled."

"I don't intend to." A grin.

"Then what are you doing?"

"I'm going out. Home."

"… … well well, look at the little hypocrite!" she heaved a dramatic sigh and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. Jack grinned.

"You're a really bad actor."

"I know, that's why I'm in the guard and not on the stage." They walked to the door and stood on the threshold, looking out into the grayness. _Nothing new here._

"Don't tell anyone."

"That you're a bad actor?"

"No! that I'm going outside. I want some time for myself. I need peace before they all swarm on me and drag me inside. I swear, they are worse than a bunch of old grandmas."

"You're lucky to have friends like them."

"I guess. But so are you, now." She grinned.

"Where are you going anyway?"

The girl made a face, but told him anyway. "To the river. Upstream." She saw Jack look at the heavy rain and frown, but was relieved when he didn't say anything except "bye, see you later." With a wave of the hand, he was gone. A few seconds later, so was she, swallowed by the curtain of wetness.

~*~*~

There wasn't anyone else out. _Well, that figures. I'm the only one crazy enough to go out when it pours. And the farmers? I wonder if they are in their fields, working, or if they're done for the winter. Mmm…it feels so good to be out. After that stuffy room; made my eyes itch. And yesterday,…yesterday? Arrg, don't like not remembering. It's all so fuzzy…I wonder what happened…is that what the old lady said, about remembering? Should I remember something that I said?...or did?...jeez…I…I didn't…tell anyone right? RIGHT?! _

She stopped and looked back, but the inn –and the rest of the village- was hidden from view, so she began walking again. It _was_ cold out, _well duh__, it's almost winter!_ But simply walking kept her warm enough. A few minutes later, she heard the rushing water, above the hiss of the rain striking leaves. Cresting a little rise in the terrain, she finally saw, raging, roaring, and muddy brown, spraying dark gray rocks that stood in its path, as if angry that they were there. For a moment, Lan forgot all her worries and simply watched this brute force. It was mesmerizing. She took a few steps closer, and sat on a wet rock-but then what _wasn't_ wet here?- right at the edge of the river, and lost herself in its power.

~*~*~

He waited for a while, got up and searched the inn. He waited some more, then went to check in the stables. A horse looked at him with large brown, placid eyes, hay sticking out of its mouth. He dashed back into the inn through the rain, looking around with a frown.

"Hey, have you seen Lan?"

"Naa…I just woke up boy."

"Mat, have you?"

"Uh no, he's probably passed out somewhere in a room. Maybe couldn't find his own. After all he drank yesterday, I wouldn't be surprised. He'll wake up on his own. Sit down and have a drink." Sindarin didn't comment. Ha asked the barman, the serving maids, and the two guys who had brought them the tub a few days ago, and was always met by a negative answer. He began to worry, and then to berated himself.

_How many times will she have to tell me she can take care of herself before I believe that? I have to let her some slack, or she'll really leave! But she didn't right now. I'm sure she didn't. if something was wrong, she would have talked things over with me first…. Who am I kidding? She doesn't need me. But…she loves me, right? She wouldn't leave…so where IS she? Did something happen to her? Stop! Stop this right now! You can't think about anything except her. The girl has a life you know? Eat some breakfast. I can't. _sigh,_ I'm too worried. It's not my fault I'm in love with her. I love her more than my life…_

The entrance door opened, and Ked's breath hitched, then he sighed again when he saw the height of the person and the blond hair. Still not her. _What's his name? Ah._

"Hey Jack? Have you seen Lan?" the other young man glanced at him, then out the door into the rain, then back at him, his face unreadable. "Hey man, did you hear me?" Sindarin stood up and walked toward him, trying to talk over the already quite loud common room. With no where else to go, the villagers had once again made the inn their meeting place. The blond youth stood a few steps away from the entrance, a puddle of water growing at his feet. 

_Why isn't he answering? I know he heard me! He's looking right at me as if deciding whether to tell me or t…_

"Yea, I did." Sindarin could hear the frantic beat of his heart.

"And? Where is he? Where did he go?!" 

"He asked me not to tell. He wants to be left alone."

~*~*~

The rain seemed to lessen a little, although Lanea didn't realize it. But she did take notice of the world around her when the wind picked up and ran right through her wet cloak. Oiled or not, it still had been soaked, and the girl shivered. She did not really want to leave yet, but her stomach growled, clamoring for the breakfast it did not have. She quickly stood up. Too quickly. The wet stone was slippery and her left foot lost its traction.

She fell.

~*~*~

Sindarin took the step that separated him from the other guy, roughly grabbed his shoulders, and tried to shake some sense into him.

"What do you mean you can't tell me!" the young guard slapped Sindarin's hands off, and his eyes narrowed.

"What's difficult to understand here? I. Cannot. Tell. You. And I definitely won't until you behave yourself." Sindarin's face became as red as his hair when he heard the calm voice of the blond.

"What if something happened to him!?" he flung his hands into the air, unaware that the whole common room had fallen silent and that everyone was watching the exchange. "What if it's an emergency!" he yelled.

"Is it?" Jack didn't need to raise his voice. He rose his eyebrows instead.

"Arrgg!!!!" Sindarin punched him in the nose. Hard.

~*~*~

A/N~ how was that for a length eh? =) I know I know, a bit of a cliffhanger. But you'll live, right? *grins* =)

-eri- thanks. But DON'T ignore stuff that bugs you!! Tell me what's wrong so I can go back and change it!! =)

-falcon-rider- glad you liked that scene. Err, what's "rofl"? =)

-magdellin- no *grins* that was not from personal experience. (it was personal only if you would include watching other people getting drunk into that category =) I stop myself at a few sips. Mandarins? Don't know either! *grins*

-m'cha araem- mmm, you'll have to wait until the sequel until you find out why sindarin joined the army *sheepish grin* . I hope that wasn't too confusing (the relationship and the sign on his wrist. I made it up.) Maybe I should add some more about it? Pregnant eh? Lol. *grins evilly* I'll let you find that out in a few chapters. (as in probably 2). But, are you sure she's pregnant? =)

-ardent- yea, sigh. That was a major slip (completely forgot about it, even while reading a valdemar book and having that part explicitly described in it!!!! ) but I think changing it now would completely mess up the plot =(     hee hee, the glitter caves? No. not that I was aware of. There's another one =)    and yea, I guess that last idea would work great =) thanks! Oh, but what about buggle? (lan's friend at the beginning of the story, remember him? =)) he should have known that!!! Or maybe he didn't. oh well =)

keep on pointing out errors! (I guess I have many of those eh?) =) and reviewing!!! 

Thanks!   =)

~ola~


	27. part 27

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~Sorry for this chapter being so short. I'll post the next one tomorrow. Mmm, don't have anything else to say, except: thanks so much for the reviews, and enjoy the story!  (comments at the bottom)

~*~*~

Part 27~

She fell…and drowned her right shoe in the cold water up to her ankle. A hot wave of fear went through her body and her heart thumped against her chest. She quickly scrambled out of the shallows up on higher grounds, her face turned toward the rushing water, eyes wide at the prospect of what could have happened. _Easy heart. Don't burst…I still need you. _She had to sit down for a moment, her hand on her stomach, until she recollected herself enough to head back, her wet boot making unpleasant squishy sounds every over step. 

She forgot her earlier worries until she reached the inn. She could clearly hear the shouts a few yards away. Her face paled. _What is it? It's not because i…told someone about…me, is it?_ She could clearly hear two distinctive voices. And she knew the owner of both. Something crashed tot eh floor. As she ran closer, she began hearing the words themselves, and not just indistinctive jumbles. She ran faster.

"…river!"

"What! You f@#%*&$ idiot! He doesn't know how to swim!!!"

The door banged open.

"Yes I do."

The room fell silent. Only the trickle of water from the gutter could be heard. She glared at the two young men and at the broken table.

"Lan…" her eyes fell on Sindarin.

"What? WHAT?! What do you think you two were doing!?"

"I…"

"No. NO! I don't want to know!" she turned her back to them. Jack, a black eye already puffing, and somewhat unsteady on his feet, sneered at his opponent. Sindarin was about to give him one last punch, _to lay the bastard on the floor and call it a day,_ when he heard Lan's slow growl. "Do not do that unless you want me to stop talking to you." With that, she did leave; they heard her light footsteps going up the stairs, then a door banged shut. It opened a few seconds later; a few more steps down the hall and back, and another bang loud enough to rattle the picture frame that hung above the fireplace.

In the silence, someone coughed, a chair scrapped on the stone floor, someone else began to talk. Jack half-sat half-fell into the closest chair he could find. Sindarin glared at him for a moment before he too turned around and walked out of the room…into the rain.

He stood outside, as the rain soaked his clothes, turned his hair a darker shade of red, and chilled him to the bone. Then he kicked a stone and strode away up to a tree from where he could see the entrance to the inn. He slumped down against the trunk and buried his hands into his hair. A gray form in a gray world. Even his hair lost its bright color through the curtain of once again thickening rain.

~*~*~

He stood outside the door for a long time, cursing himself for being afraid to come in and confront her. He knew she must have heard his footsteps on the creaking floor boards. With a sigh, he turned the knob and entered the room with eyes downcast.

"I'm not sorry. I won't apologize for fighting with him." he glanced up at her, fond her looking at him, and went back to watching the floor.

"At least you're honest." Another glance. She sat cross-legged on the bed, still watching him. He shivered, and took his wet shirt off, as he tried to suppress a sneeze. "What happened down there so that two of my friends beat each other into a bloody pulp?"

"A friend? Is that all I am to you now?"

"It's not what I meant."

"It's what it sounded like." He knew he was angering her further, but her couldn't stop himself. He already hurt too much; from the fight as much as from what he had done to her.

"What do you think you are doing, you idiot?" he was startled into looking at her when she whispered and her voice broke. He was even more surprised to see tears in her eyes. He opened his mouth…and sneezed again. The floor creaked, and he felt a towel being draped across his bare shoulders. And then a hug. "Why did you do it Si?" she whispered.

"I couldn't find you. I asked him where you where. He wouldn't tell me. I got worried…" he didn't know whether she would accept his embrace, so he let his hands hang at his side. He heard her sigh.

"How long will I have to tell you that I can take care of myself?"

"For the rest of my life," he said softly, finally deciding to put his arms around her. When she didn't pull away, he hugged her closer and hung his head on her shoulder, breathing in her scent.

"I'm still mad at you," her voice came out soft and muffled, and it tickled his chest. The stomp of her bare foot on the floor was barely audible. He leaned a little bit away from her and looked into her eyes, his own filled with sadness.

"Lan…I am not worthy of you."

"I think I should be the judge of that." She finally kissed him. They undressed; she dragged him into bed, lay against him, and warmed his cold and shivering body with her own.

~*~*~

A/N~ yea, err, well, Lan does like Sindarin, and she just couldn't find it in her to ignore him completely =)

-cassie bear- sind? Hee hee, cool nickname. Well, jack –the poor fellow- didn't _know_ how …together…they were. And anyway, he's shaych, so don't worry.

-falcon rider- hee hee, glad you find it amusing =)

-trina ti- sorry for the choppiness, but that was the only way I could think of to convey both scenes at the same time (to make it a little more suspenseful). Mmm, is there anything I could do to make it better?

-M'shara- yea, he _does_ overreact, but that's because he loves her so much and is afraid to loose her. (Maybe I should send him to a psychiatrist, or a relationship councilor, eh? Lol) =)

*note to self: go back and add something about Sindarin's wrist sign*   (whenever I'll have time. Which may be some while from now)


	28. part 28 feeling sick and sick feelings

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ ops. Meant to post this chapter yesterday. Mmm, forgot *sheepish smile* too busy getting lost in "magic's promise" for half the night. =)

*A LITTLE PART ADDED. SOMEWHAT IMPORTANT FOR LATER PLOT DEVELOPMENT.

Huh. How come my title isn't centered? None of them are!! (well, they are on my word processor, but not on fanfic.) anyone could help me with that please? That would be greatly appreciated.

~*~*~

Part 28~

She yawned and blinked at the bright light that flooded the common room. Even though the sun was up, it seemed to Lan a waste of hours which she could have spent in sleeping. Sigh. _Yes, sleep. Sleep is good. I'll have to find m'self a job where I don't have to wake so early._ She starred mournfully at the plate in front of her and poked at it with a fork before taking a bite.

_For Heaven's sake, it's _market_ day. A holyday! _No_body should be up that early!_

A maid came through the double swinging doors that led to the kitchen, with platters laden with food for a few other early risers. On the other side, sitting on a low stool with a bucket between his feet, sat Sindarin, his back turned toward her.

_Huh._ She left her breakfast.

"What are you doing?" he looked up.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he seemed very unenthusiastic as he pointed at the sac of potatoes with his knife.

"I can see what you're doing. The question is why?"

he sighed. "Captain's orders. Because of yesterday's fight." He explained. "Peeling potatoes, cleaning out the stables, and washing the floors." He sighed again, shook his head, and went back to his work.

One long peel fell to the stone floor, while the whitish tuber joined the many others in the bucker filled with water. Lanea opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it without doing so. The fire crackled; plates clattered against wooden tables in the common room; Sindarin's knife softly scratched the brown skin away; ploink, splat…another tuber less. A little while later, she squeezed his shoulder and left.

Scratch scratch scratch, …ploink, splat.

~*~*~

It felt strangely good to be on the march again. The cold morning air cleared their minds, as the sun rose from its slumber. Their packs full of provisions and warmer clothes, they set forth on the last leg of their journey before wintering over in Brownbarrow, two fortnights of walk away. The high mountains were past, but tall hills still abounded, now more sharp rock than grassy meadows. 

Many a thought passed through each of their mind. Lan was too occupied thinking about that last morning at the inn. Many villagers came to say farewell –as much in real sadness and friendship as in politeness-. Many of those were members of the guard. Jack however, had not been there. Lan had scanned the crowed one last time before departing, feeling miserable. She had not meant to hurt his feelings, and had no time to apologize. She only hoped now that he had not gone and done something …irrational. He had been a nice friend while she was in this town; someone she could talk to without innuendos of any sorts. And she walked away on that sunny day, realized she missed his company.

But life still went on. There still were night watches, sword and archery practice and hand-to-hand combat. As much as Lan had thought she was good at that         –being taught by a very street smart friend of hers- she quickly realized she did not have that much of an advantage over any of her comrades. The man reason for that was her light weight. A punch from her would have little effect on a stocky man like Tuck. She learned that the hard way –staring at the little stars that danced before her eyes while she lay flat on her back, trying to remember how she had gotten there-. 

The nights had become quite cold, and the icy wind heralded snow. Even thought Lan had lived up north, she had never seen much of it, since her town lay in a sheltered valley, and was looking foreward to the first snow flakes twirling out of the sky. But until that day, she would have to wait. And waiting was grating on her nerves.

As before, in the open, Lan and Sindarin were obliged to restrain their…amorous adventures. Even when they were the only ones awake, during their time of watch, there was the possibility of someone waking up and seeing them in a position that could not be explained away, and thus jeopardize their pursuit of career choice. The moments they could both escape safely were few and short. Never long enough. Both trainees were becoming frustrated, longing for time alone, and no longer satisfied with the quick brush of fingertips, the long glances across the fire, or holding hands beneath their blankets. They days simply went by, not slower nor fast, even though they seemed to drag on forever for two certain people. But that is not to say they went by uneventfully.

~*~*~

Sindarin woke abruptly to the sound of someone retching his guts out. His head shot to the person lying next to him, and he heaved a sigh of relief at seeing her well, and only now awakening as well. The sound repeated itself, to their left. 

Tuck was on his knees, thankfully turned _away_ from the rest of the camp. The noise was bad enough; they didn't need see his half-digested dinner as well. After he calmed down, gulped some water, and scowled at anyone who tried to help him, he consented to answering some questions to the captain and the healer.

"So it's the mushrooms then." The healer nodded. "Anyone else ate any of those?"

"I did."

"And I."

Mat and Lan.

"Seeing that you are both all right, I would venture the assumption that Tuck, you either ingested a rather large quantity of those mushrooms, or had the misfortune of eating a bad one mixed in with the other good ones."

Before the healer finished his statement however, Lan's face had paled considerably, and she had ran away, her own dinner now lying in the grass a few feet away from the assembled group. Sindarin took a step toward her, then changed his mind and fetched her some water, feeling her ache as she clenched her queezy stomach with both hands. She was fine a few minutes later, and no more such incidents followed the first two…

…until the next morning.

Lan again ejected the contents of her stomach. Tuck seemed over his own bad morning.

~*~*~

A/N~ short, yeah, I know, and getting to the end soon.

-trina ti- lots of scrowling = more muscles in finger =) (yep, that't it, I lost my marbles. Lol )

-m'cha- lol, sorry about your name =) I think I was way too tired then. Male chauvinist. Yep exactly =) *sigh* ah, guys…

-magdellin-thanks, I'll go change that =)

-shalott- hee hee, glad you liked it.

-falcon-rider- glad you STILL like it =) lol.


	29. part 29 Rock and snow and silence ...

**~Memories~**

By Ola

~*~*~

A/N~ This is the last chapter. I am sorry for having slightly abandoned this story (it seems as if it has been sputtering out like a dying candle). I do have an idea for a sequel. Actually, the sequel was the reason for this title in the first place. But it's not written yet. At all. So it may take some time. Or would you prefer I posted longer chapters, but farther apart? Tell me what you think please. Is it worth writing? Thank you very VERY much to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciated all the comments. And now, enjoy the last post.

This chapter is dedicated to m'cha whose questions I couldn't really answer until this chapter (and whose name I always seem to mess up *grins*). I hope you're not mad at me, but I didn't want to spoil the surprise *grins*. So here it is:

~*~*~

Part 29~ Rock and snow and silence

Two days later, Lana took Sindarin's elbow and dragged him away until a safe distance separated them from the rest of the camp's members. The sun had set just moments ago; the sky had barely changed colors yet, but the forest's ground was already full of long bluish shadows.

"Lan, what is it?"

The girl was pale, and wringed her hands nervously.

"I…" her eyes were cast on the floor, and her voice a mere whisper. "Si…I'm pregnant."

She dared a glance at his face, but it was hidden in shadows. She quickly went on. "I'll leave the company as soon as we reach Brownbarrow…"

"Lan…"

"Don't worry. They won't find out about you. I won't tell. They'll have no reason to quick you out…"

"Lan…"

"I'll go somewhere we haven't gone through yet so no one will know me, or you. And you'll…"

"Lan!" he grabbed her shoulders and gently shook her to get her attention. Only then did she stop and look in his eyes. "Are you sure? I mean…how can you know?"

"I _know_. Believe me, I just know." Her voice dropped flat, as her fears came true. _He doesn't care._

"But how will you live? Where will you get the money?"

"I'll find some work. Lots of people need a maid. Maybe I'll even make it as far as Haven. There's bound to be lots of work there."

"Lots of work, and even more danger. I won't let you go alone."

"And then _both_ of us will be job-less and poor. Sindarin, I don't even know why you enrolled in the guard, but you probably had some good reasons to leave. I can't change your plans like that. I'll…I'll just…" she felt none of the determination that she tried to convey. The only things she _did_ feel were shame, hurt, and sadness.

" 'You'll' nothing. I'm coming with you. You will need much better food and more rest then you could ever find for yourself. It's partly because of me that this happened. It's my responsibility as much as yours …and damn it Lan! I love you! How could you ever think I would leave you!" his voice broke, and so did the girl's shaky control. A sob escaped her, and she crumpled into Sindarin's arms.

"Si…I'm s-so sc-c-cared. I d-don't know w-what-t to d-do-o."

"Sshh…I'll help. Don't worry. I won't leave you Lan. You know I couldn't." he stroke her back and lent her his shoulder to cry on. "I would go to the end of the world to get you back." Lanea only hugged him harder, until she calmed down and dried her tears. 

Twilight had come and gone, and only the stars gave them a faint silvery light to see by.

A few minutes later, Sindarin chucked. "Oh my God. I can't believe it. I…I'm going to be a father."

"Lan…" the girl felt more than saw him kneel down in front of her. Her eyes widened in surprise and shock as she realized what he was about to do. "Micolanea Sephardi, will you marry me?

"Si! B…but you're a prince! And I…and you…don't you have obligations to the crown and…and…" hope and resignation warred on her face, illuminated by the moonlight.

"I'm the third son, and have lots of cousins who would only gladly take my place. And I would freely give all of it away if I could only have you…" the leaves rustled as Lan dropped to her own knees and kissed her betrothed on the lips, while whispering a "yes" full of happy tears.

~*~*~

The wind became so bitterly cold that Lan's cheeks felt as if they would freeze and fall off. And her nose too. She wouldn't even have been able to tell if it was still attached to her face if it hadn't run constantly. As it was, she couldn't stop sniffling. Thank god, the others were well ahead of her or they would have damned her to the nine hell. Heck, she was annoying _herself_ with it! 

The fact that they were climbing a steep hill wasn't helping her mood at all. She was the last in line –a line that was strung out over quite a distance- and felt as if she was lagging behind and had to catch up to everyone, and thus exerted herself more than she had to. Of course, each trainee was about as far away from the other as every one else, _including_ her, but being the last always felt like that to her. She never liked bringing up the rear. 

Ahead, she could see the narrow trail leveling out. The Captain and the healer were already on it, looking quite pleased. _Yea, be happy you're done. **I**'m still down here. And **I** am tired._ She grumbled all the way up, fuming as she saw everyone lean their pack against the rock to rest from its weight, while she was still struggling on the ascent. But it did end, and she too stopped and took a look around her. To their left, the rock climbed straight up for a few hundred of feet, its ragged face broken from time to time by a shaggy weed. On the other side, there was a sheer drop. A very _long_ drop. She slowly edged away toward the safety of the rock wall. _Safety? Pff._ The trail was narrow, with loose rocks underneath the dirt, but at least it was relatively flat. 

"Listen up." The captain's voice caught her attention. It was strangely quiet, but still rang out clearly. "Spread out a hundred feet. This is not a very secure ledge, and the fewer disturbances on it, the better. That means no shouting, no running, no yelling. A quiet, steadfast walk, understood? Now go." 

_Aha. That explains it. But it doesn't make me any more confident. Damn, maybe it would have been better if you haven't said anything. I mean, we aren't in any shape to yell and run anyway. After a day of trudging through mountains, and rock climbing all morning? Who do you take us for? _Sigh._ I am tired. I need a break. Thank god, there are three more days left to Brownbarrow. I can take three more days. But not more._

The others slowly fanned out on the long ledge and she too, was on her way a few minutes later. _Long enough to rest, and feel the full weight of that damn pack again._ Little rocks shifted under her feet, and a faint dusting toppled on her head, as a few pebbles struck her pack and hands. She swiped her sweaty brow, annoyed, and went on thinking, quite lost in her mind. _Sweat? Jeez. I'm cold, and I'm sweating? This better be a shortcut. Why didn't we take a longer way, but _around_ this @#$% mountain? _ She sighed again, glancing over the edge, then vowing not to do so again. _I don't like heights. Nope, I definitely don't like them. They m…_

A loud shout penetrated her fogged mind for a moment before she kept going on the interrupted thought. _You aren't supposed to yell, smart-ass. And aren't you too tired anyway? Jeez. Where did y…_

Another shout, even louder and more insistent, brought her out to reality, as did a rather painful rock that tumbled down and struck her head. She only had a moment to glance up then cast a fearful look at Sindarin before she was engulfed in a wave of rock, and dust and a terrifying roar filled her mind.

~*~*~

For a split second, Sindarin's mind went blank. He heard the growing roar, felt the earth shake, and saw the rockslide falling on Lan. And then he yelled, waving his arms widely to catch her attention. When she looked up and realized what was happening, her eyes went wide with shock before she glanced at him. Her eyes. Her gray green eyes. It was the last thing he saw before the landslide hurled down and hid her from his sight. 

He was running before he even realized it, yelling Lan's name, but whatever escaped his lips was muted by the terrible rumble. He heard nothing else except the grinding of the rocks as they loosened from somewhere above him and struck the trail at his feet. His mind was empty of all thoughts except one: Lan.

Suddenly, strong arms caught his by the shoulders and restrained his mad dash. And try as he may, he could not get free.

"Let me go! I have to go to him!! Let me go you bastard!!" his voice broke, but Tuck didn't let go, except to reposition and tighten his hold on the younger man. Slowly, he dragged him away, while he continued screaming and struggling to get free. "You don't understand! Let me go! Let me go I tell you!" 

Silence descended on the company as the roar slowly died down. Where a few minutes ago stood Lan, there was now a pile of rocks two men high, and a settling cloud of dust.

Sindarin thrashed and broke free of Tuck's hold; he ran a few feet before his knees gave way and he fell to the ground, staring at the disaster with empty eyes. Little pebbles still rained down on him, but he did not notice, or did not care. There was nothing left for him to care for.

_Lan…my wife…          …my love…_

_                                                                        …my life…_

The young man rocked back and forth on his heels, his body shaken by silent sobs, as the company looked on, their hearts heavy. And from the sky, little flakes of pure white snow came gently fluttering down. 

~*~*~

~The End~                               

A/N~ So? Should I write a sequel? (lol. 29 chapters. Not a nice round number, but I didn't have the heart to cut this one in two.)    =)

-anonymouse- I guess you won't be reading this then, but oh well. Everyone has the right for an opinion *grin* thanks for being honest. I don't really have an excuse (saying that it's because Lan is young and immature wouldn't really work eh?) mmm. But that's why I'm writing fanfiction and not getting anything published =) 

-SL42- hee hee. Thanks. You should read m'chara's review =) 


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